Basically today I took the formulas and ratios the nurse gave me and self-adjusted them to my lifestyle, with relatively good results. I'll explain later, but my lowest of the day was 71 and was probably just the result of too much fat in my dinner. Otherwise kept stable, ordered a 3 month supply of everything (lancets, test strips, needles, insulin, etc.) which set me back about $600 or so. That hurts worse than the finger pricks!
11:43 -> 241 Took 5 units with my 105c cereal. Should stay steady, which is good after all the lows I’ve been having.
2:19 -> 83 What? That’s a 160 point drop when I should have stayed level. Had a 42 carb pb&j.
3:30 -> Intermission 20c cup of blueberries.
5:03 -> 150 Took 5 units with dinner of quinoa, chicken and veg 40c, s. potatoes 50c, carrot cake 48c. That’s about a 30:1 ratio.
7:59 -> 106 Had a 10c ½ cup of blueberries, 5c peanuts and 40c cookie. At 11:00 I had a brownie 15c
12:19 -> 126 Had 5 units with a Hamburger and Fries and a black beer.
1:59 -> 71 Had a pack of Pez candies and a guiness
3:44 -> 90 Felt my sugar on the rise, the fatty foods will definitely keep it up with their slow digestion.
Day 19
Sunday, January 8, 2012
Friday, January 6, 2012
Double Dipping
Mir bozi cristo serodi!! Or Merry Orthodox Christmas Eve to those non-slavic speaking orthodox descendants of immigrants. At time of writing my sugar is at 46 and I'm shaking like a mofo. I swear I'm going to do a cover of the Outkast song "hey ya" with the lyrics: "...shake it, shake shake it, shake it uh huh, shake it, shake shake it, shake it, shake it, shake shake it, shake it like a hypoglycemic patient..."
No Santa or snow or children chirping like chickens under a table bedecked with hay and money, just another roller coaster ride in a post Diabetic life. I woke up at 8:25. That in and of itself is a small miracle. My sugar was decent so I headed over for my blood work appointment which was... across the street? Wow, that was convenient. Fifteen vials of blood and one vial of urine later I was done.
"You should have some juice or something," said my heavily spanish accented matrushka doll shaped blood drawing attendant. "Maybe a cookie." This was about to get awkward.
"Um... I'm diabetic." Silence... yep, awkward.
From the blood test I grabbed a vegan sandwich from the corner store and caught the train to Columbia University to meet with my nurse. She's a funny woman, middle aged, slender with not too thick frizzy blond hair, a matronly voice and habitual over-blinking. She told me a lot of stuff I already knew, and corrected a lot of things I thought I knew. No more lows was a sentiment that she repeated and together with the voice of Dr. Thys it is starting to get through - theoretically if not yet practically. Together Nurse Linda and I went over some numbers and decided that I was probably best suited for a 20:1 carb to insulin unit ratio. She also decided with Dr. Thys to lower my basal insulin to 13 units which started tonight.
From Nurse Linda's I went straight to rehearsal, sat through an hour note session and a 1.5 hour fight call and then performed Act 2 in Joey. I had dinner using her new counting method and even ate a little extra to be safe and then took a nap. I woke up in time for fight call (I was in Topthorn tonight) and ran upstairs. As I put my shoes on I started shaking and don't remember any of the fight call, only stumbling into the stage management office and pouring chocolates down my throat. Then I tumbled into the green room and had... well I'll tell you about that later. Basically I went low, caught myself, went high, did the show, went home and entered into another nightmare.
And so...
8:30 -> 156 No breakfast. 15 vials of blood.
10:20 -> 5 units of Novolog w/veggie turkey sandwich, 2 bananas and some blueberries.
11:40 -> 93 At work had almonds, peanuts and a protein shake. Still hungry, had a clif bar and ACV.
5:45 -> 111 Wild rice, brussel sprouts, chicken, brownie, small biscuit and small piece of homemade bread for a total of 102 carbs. Took 5 units of Novolog.
7:10 -> Time for fight call, had two small apples then started shaking. Had a slice of bread, 8 oz milk, and chocolate for 30 more carbs.
7:36 -> 66 Had a Lara bar and a bite of cupcake for 30 more carbs.
9:21 -> 265 Guess I overshot it a bit.
12:45 -> 143 Took 13 units of Lantus, then 5 units of Novolog (injected into my new upper buttock fat) with greek salad, quinoa, indian curry, chicken drumstick and a bite of potato/carrots/onions for a total of 110 carbs.
2:32 -> 46 Shaking like crazy. Had a 12 oz glass of milk for 15 carbs.
2:50 -> 78 Had half a pb&j.
3:22 -> 50 Still shaking. Had 9 quadratini and half a cup of ice cream for 40 total carbs.
3:42 -> 86 Finally starting to feel better
4:13 -> 140 At last the shaking has stopped. I'm exhausted.
During this crazy night time fiasco I called home and then Marissa Rinkle and then home again. It's great having the support and the wise words. What she helped me understand was that having such an active day really burns through the sugar faster. Also she advised me to err on the side of "high" for the next day or two because some many concurrent lows cause depletion of glucose in the muscles, which is your bodies last hope for combating a spell of hypoglycemia. Basically my muscles are now empty and so a low would be even more dangerous than usual. Tomorrow I'll be enjoying every dang cookie that's brought to the theatre.
Sometimes I feel like pancreatic function is like a bowler, yes bowler, as in somebody who goes to a bowling alley, dons the slick shoes, fingers a 10 pound orb and hurls it down a waxed alley towards a bunch of petrified fiberglass pins - a bowler. A normal pancreas is like an average or above average bowler. You generally hit the pins (an example of a normal day of eating and glucose metabolism), and only rarely does the ball end up in the gutters (a sugar high post Thanksgiving dinner or sugar low post insane workout). In this metaphor my "artificial" pancreas in the form of a few needle tipped sharpie sized pens is like a belligerent autistic child trying to bowl. For weeks he was actually tossing the ball across several alleys where it would land and crunch the stained wood beneath it. But now that I'm on insulin it's as if my bowling lane has bumpers. Only it's the same dang kid throwing the ball so the bumpers take blow after blow as the ball ricochets down the alley. Poor bumpers, they have to last the next 60+ years to protect the neighboring alleys (liver, eye, and kidney function).
At least now I have the One Touch Delica, a pocket sized lancing device with a smooth feminine shape, perfect for the woman on the go!
Day 18
No Santa or snow or children chirping like chickens under a table bedecked with hay and money, just another roller coaster ride in a post Diabetic life. I woke up at 8:25. That in and of itself is a small miracle. My sugar was decent so I headed over for my blood work appointment which was... across the street? Wow, that was convenient. Fifteen vials of blood and one vial of urine later I was done.
"You should have some juice or something," said my heavily spanish accented matrushka doll shaped blood drawing attendant. "Maybe a cookie." This was about to get awkward.
"Um... I'm diabetic." Silence... yep, awkward.
From the blood test I grabbed a vegan sandwich from the corner store and caught the train to Columbia University to meet with my nurse. She's a funny woman, middle aged, slender with not too thick frizzy blond hair, a matronly voice and habitual over-blinking. She told me a lot of stuff I already knew, and corrected a lot of things I thought I knew. No more lows was a sentiment that she repeated and together with the voice of Dr. Thys it is starting to get through - theoretically if not yet practically. Together Nurse Linda and I went over some numbers and decided that I was probably best suited for a 20:1 carb to insulin unit ratio. She also decided with Dr. Thys to lower my basal insulin to 13 units which started tonight.
From Nurse Linda's I went straight to rehearsal, sat through an hour note session and a 1.5 hour fight call and then performed Act 2 in Joey. I had dinner using her new counting method and even ate a little extra to be safe and then took a nap. I woke up in time for fight call (I was in Topthorn tonight) and ran upstairs. As I put my shoes on I started shaking and don't remember any of the fight call, only stumbling into the stage management office and pouring chocolates down my throat. Then I tumbled into the green room and had... well I'll tell you about that later. Basically I went low, caught myself, went high, did the show, went home and entered into another nightmare.
And so...
8:30 -> 156 No breakfast. 15 vials of blood.
10:20 -> 5 units of Novolog w/veggie turkey sandwich, 2 bananas and some blueberries.
11:40 -> 93 At work had almonds, peanuts and a protein shake. Still hungry, had a clif bar and ACV.
5:45 -> 111 Wild rice, brussel sprouts, chicken, brownie, small biscuit and small piece of homemade bread for a total of 102 carbs. Took 5 units of Novolog.
7:10 -> Time for fight call, had two small apples then started shaking. Had a slice of bread, 8 oz milk, and chocolate for 30 more carbs.
7:36 -> 66 Had a Lara bar and a bite of cupcake for 30 more carbs.
9:21 -> 265 Guess I overshot it a bit.
12:45 -> 143 Took 13 units of Lantus, then 5 units of Novolog (injected into my new upper buttock fat) with greek salad, quinoa, indian curry, chicken drumstick and a bite of potato/carrots/onions for a total of 110 carbs.
2:32 -> 46 Shaking like crazy. Had a 12 oz glass of milk for 15 carbs.
2:50 -> 78 Had half a pb&j.
3:22 -> 50 Still shaking. Had 9 quadratini and half a cup of ice cream for 40 total carbs.
3:42 -> 86 Finally starting to feel better
4:13 -> 140 At last the shaking has stopped. I'm exhausted.
During this crazy night time fiasco I called home and then Marissa Rinkle and then home again. It's great having the support and the wise words. What she helped me understand was that having such an active day really burns through the sugar faster. Also she advised me to err on the side of "high" for the next day or two because some many concurrent lows cause depletion of glucose in the muscles, which is your bodies last hope for combating a spell of hypoglycemia. Basically my muscles are now empty and so a low would be even more dangerous than usual. Tomorrow I'll be enjoying every dang cookie that's brought to the theatre.
Sometimes I feel like pancreatic function is like a bowler, yes bowler, as in somebody who goes to a bowling alley, dons the slick shoes, fingers a 10 pound orb and hurls it down a waxed alley towards a bunch of petrified fiberglass pins - a bowler. A normal pancreas is like an average or above average bowler. You generally hit the pins (an example of a normal day of eating and glucose metabolism), and only rarely does the ball end up in the gutters (a sugar high post Thanksgiving dinner or sugar low post insane workout). In this metaphor my "artificial" pancreas in the form of a few needle tipped sharpie sized pens is like a belligerent autistic child trying to bowl. For weeks he was actually tossing the ball across several alleys where it would land and crunch the stained wood beneath it. But now that I'm on insulin it's as if my bowling lane has bumpers. Only it's the same dang kid throwing the ball so the bumpers take blow after blow as the ball ricochets down the alley. Poor bumpers, they have to last the next 60+ years to protect the neighboring alleys (liver, eye, and kidney function).
At least now I have the One Touch Delica, a pocket sized lancing device with a smooth feminine shape, perfect for the woman on the go!
Day 18
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Needing Help
Today was the opposite of yesterday. My numbers were good. My life was a mess.
Last night's low kept me up late so waking today was hard. I was called into work at 1:00, but the stage manager had asked if I could come at 12:30 to talk with him and the head of puppetry. A private meeting with two of the head honchos can only go two ways. They don't call you in for being average, and I was right in suspecting that I wasn't being called in for being exceptional. They spent about 2 minutes asking how I was dealing with Diabetes and I chose, as i always will, not to use it as an excuse. With that settled, they went in for the kill.
In words already forgotten but sentiments that will leave scars they expressed their disappointment in my recent performances, their nervousness about my state of understanding the new tracks, and their trepidation about putting me on as Joey. They accused me of "phoning it in," of not knowing my blocking, of deliberately being uncommunicative with my team, and of puppeteering in such a way that my physical presence distracts from the story, and what did I have to say for myself?
Uh... ouch. That hurt worse than injecting insulin into your foot.
I was outraged. I was upset. I was angry at myself. I was livid at them! I wished for the ability to take them back in time to a place where such things were settled physically. It's hard for me to describe how slighted I've felt with regards to the new production of War Horse. I made one request, not to have to work with a certain individual. Everybody else had their requests granted except me. "Sorry," the head of puppetry said at the time, "I owe you big." And then again today, "I know I'm asking a lot of you, working with, well, I'm not going to say any names here, but I know... I know I'm asking a lot." But it didn't have to be that way! And nobody understands what it's like trying to work with this guy. It's toxic. I'm repulsed. When I hold his hand for the final bows my hand burns and my heart hurts. I can feel his presence and it makes me unhappy. Nobody understands but Tom Lee. But trying to explain is futile.
In the meantime I did my best in the Act 1 run through. It was better, of that I'm sure. But I'll still get noted for all the same things. I only hope it was good enough for them to feel secure in my ability again; for them to have confidence in my competence. I hope so. Tomorrow will tell many things.
123456789098765432112345678909876543211234567890987654321
11:12 -> 145 slight headache, probably from partial dehydration and some sleepiness (from going to bed late) but otherwise good. 5 units NovoLog with my epic cereal, an apple and an egg (jumbo).
2:07 -> 126 Had half a pb&j and participated in the fight call for act 1 as Joey. By 4:00 I finished the pb&j and had a clif bar.
6:27 -> 165 I guess the clif bar was more sugar than Act 1 in Joey called for. Took 5 units with a Chipotle chicken burrito, a small banana and a small handful of blueberries.
12:30 -> 130 15 units of Lantus and 5 units of Novolog with dinner: salad (red romaine, cucs, tomatoes, avocado, arugula sprouts, feta, parmesan, evoo, balsamic, 2 veggie sausages), 2 baby apples and two medium yams.
2:57 -> 88 This is a good number. But just to be safe I had a handful of blueberries to make sure I make it through the night. Washed it down with ACV spiked water. Delicious.
Also something dawned on me today while on the phone with my family. They decided to say a prayer with me on the phone. There I sat on the floor in my hallway leaning up against a wall, the fluorescent light flickering above me, while 3000+ miles away half a dozen people were praying... for me -- for my health, and my well-being, and the presence of God in my actions. I'm not used to being at the receiving end of prayers for health. I've always been healthy. I could handle my body myself. It's always been something I've had control of. My body, entrusted to me at birth to look after as my most valuable tool in life. As a soldier treats his rifle or an photographer his camera, I treated my body better. I never needed the help or prayers. I sculpted what I had deliberately and with care. But the control has been stripped away. And even though I've always thought of myself as being partly defined by my self-sufficiency, I need the help and support and prayers.
Tomorrow I wake up at 8:15 to go get 15 vials of blood taken for testing purposes. From there I go to see a nurse who will tell me everything I ever needed to know about Diabetes. Finally I head to the theatre for a 1 hour note session followed by a run of Act 2 (in Joey) and then a performance (in Topthorn). It can't get much worse, which means I can take comfort that it will soon get better.
Day 17
Last night's low kept me up late so waking today was hard. I was called into work at 1:00, but the stage manager had asked if I could come at 12:30 to talk with him and the head of puppetry. A private meeting with two of the head honchos can only go two ways. They don't call you in for being average, and I was right in suspecting that I wasn't being called in for being exceptional. They spent about 2 minutes asking how I was dealing with Diabetes and I chose, as i always will, not to use it as an excuse. With that settled, they went in for the kill.
In words already forgotten but sentiments that will leave scars they expressed their disappointment in my recent performances, their nervousness about my state of understanding the new tracks, and their trepidation about putting me on as Joey. They accused me of "phoning it in," of not knowing my blocking, of deliberately being uncommunicative with my team, and of puppeteering in such a way that my physical presence distracts from the story, and what did I have to say for myself?
Uh... ouch. That hurt worse than injecting insulin into your foot.
I was outraged. I was upset. I was angry at myself. I was livid at them! I wished for the ability to take them back in time to a place where such things were settled physically. It's hard for me to describe how slighted I've felt with regards to the new production of War Horse. I made one request, not to have to work with a certain individual. Everybody else had their requests granted except me. "Sorry," the head of puppetry said at the time, "I owe you big." And then again today, "I know I'm asking a lot of you, working with, well, I'm not going to say any names here, but I know... I know I'm asking a lot." But it didn't have to be that way! And nobody understands what it's like trying to work with this guy. It's toxic. I'm repulsed. When I hold his hand for the final bows my hand burns and my heart hurts. I can feel his presence and it makes me unhappy. Nobody understands but Tom Lee. But trying to explain is futile.
In the meantime I did my best in the Act 1 run through. It was better, of that I'm sure. But I'll still get noted for all the same things. I only hope it was good enough for them to feel secure in my ability again; for them to have confidence in my competence. I hope so. Tomorrow will tell many things.
123456789098765432112345678909876543211234567890987654321
11:12 -> 145 slight headache, probably from partial dehydration and some sleepiness (from going to bed late) but otherwise good. 5 units NovoLog with my epic cereal, an apple and an egg (jumbo).
2:07 -> 126 Had half a pb&j and participated in the fight call for act 1 as Joey. By 4:00 I finished the pb&j and had a clif bar.
6:27 -> 165 I guess the clif bar was more sugar than Act 1 in Joey called for. Took 5 units with a Chipotle chicken burrito, a small banana and a small handful of blueberries.
12:30 -> 130 15 units of Lantus and 5 units of Novolog with dinner: salad (red romaine, cucs, tomatoes, avocado, arugula sprouts, feta, parmesan, evoo, balsamic, 2 veggie sausages), 2 baby apples and two medium yams.
2:57 -> 88 This is a good number. But just to be safe I had a handful of blueberries to make sure I make it through the night. Washed it down with ACV spiked water. Delicious.
Also something dawned on me today while on the phone with my family. They decided to say a prayer with me on the phone. There I sat on the floor in my hallway leaning up against a wall, the fluorescent light flickering above me, while 3000+ miles away half a dozen people were praying... for me -- for my health, and my well-being, and the presence of God in my actions. I'm not used to being at the receiving end of prayers for health. I've always been healthy. I could handle my body myself. It's always been something I've had control of. My body, entrusted to me at birth to look after as my most valuable tool in life. As a soldier treats his rifle or an photographer his camera, I treated my body better. I never needed the help or prayers. I sculpted what I had deliberately and with care. But the control has been stripped away. And even though I've always thought of myself as being partly defined by my self-sufficiency, I need the help and support and prayers.
Tomorrow I wake up at 8:15 to go get 15 vials of blood taken for testing purposes. From there I go to see a nurse who will tell me everything I ever needed to know about Diabetes. Finally I head to the theatre for a 1 hour note session followed by a run of Act 2 (in Joey) and then a performance (in Topthorn). It can't get much worse, which means I can take comfort that it will soon get better.
Day 17
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
The Cost of Diabetes - Time
Good Morning America!
Diabetically speaking today was not great. In all other aspects it was wonderful. The show is coming to an end, 6 more with the original cast, the family I've known this past year. It's amazing how for some it's as if I've known them my whole life. Others are still strangers.
pbpk -> 176
11:39 -> 168 I guess the extra food last night did give me a long slow rise through the night. Had cereal with 5 units of Novolog. Later during the first show I had an apple, 2 chicken drumsticks, a cookie a cup of tea, almonds, and a pb&j.
5:33 -> 96 I felt as though I had managed my sugar level all day. I had a serving of Bangers and mash from the Emerald Inn and washed it down with a Guinness. An hour later I started feeling low and so I dove into a Levain cookie. Big mistake. Levain cookies, as everybody knows, are completely irresistible. They are also very sweet. My glucose spiked.
8:30 -> 250 Despite having a coffee and performing for 30min my sugars were high. I had some apple cider vinegar and a protein shake (virtually no carbs) to try and get them under control.
12:10 -> 15 units of Lantus
12:40 -> 91 'Atta boy! I took 5 units and had a delicious salad (red romaine, dandelion greens, arugula sprouts, cucumbers, tomatoes, red onions, avocado, evoo, balsamic, spices, bulgarian feta) and some indian curried spinach with paneer cheese and about a serving and a half of TJ's harvest grains.
2:42 -> 59 Guess I should have had more harvest grains. I had a medium teaspoon of honey, waited 5-10 minutes and then had those harvest grains along with the remaining lamb stew. Had some chips with hummus and then went to bed.
Diabetes is going to take time. I wake up 20 minutes earlier every day now because I want time to check my sugar and to administer insulin. I also need more time preparing my bag before going out, making sure I have all my equipment, all my medication, emergency food, journal, etc. And of course I do my best to prepare food for the rest of the day.
At night time I make dinner as soon as I get home but need to wait two hours for my sugars to settle before I can go to bed (and before I can publish posts) which inevitably means I don't get to bed until around 3 in the morning.
During my waking hours Diabetes takes time as well. Today I went to three stores before I found the batteries necessary for my waning glucometer. My test strips are running low again too. I called 5 times to see if a certain blood diagnostic center could fit me into their schedule. Each time I got a recording.
But just as energy spent begets energy (the more you workout the more energy you have) so does time used efficiently beget efficient use of time. I guess what I'm trying to say, and not very well at that, is I'm finding I have fewer hours of leisure each day, and yet I'm making better use of those hours. I'm secretly hoping that Diabetes was actually the cure for my persistent laziness and lack of focus. Maybe this disease was just what I needed to hone skills of self-control, discipline, persistence - skills I've been lacking in my creativity. Could this be the start of something amazing, somethings amazing? Already ideas come at me faster than I can put to use. A diabetic comedy routine, comic book, iphone app, a non-diabetic feature film, a cookbook, etc. etc. etc. I never would have been able to manage all those things before. But after a few months of regimented self-administered injections and a strict diet... who knows?
Just as iron sharpens iron, so does one condition (diabetes) sharpen another (productivity).
Day 16
Diabetically speaking today was not great. In all other aspects it was wonderful. The show is coming to an end, 6 more with the original cast, the family I've known this past year. It's amazing how for some it's as if I've known them my whole life. Others are still strangers.
pbpk -> 176
11:39 -> 168 I guess the extra food last night did give me a long slow rise through the night. Had cereal with 5 units of Novolog. Later during the first show I had an apple, 2 chicken drumsticks, a cookie a cup of tea, almonds, and a pb&j.
5:33 -> 96 I felt as though I had managed my sugar level all day. I had a serving of Bangers and mash from the Emerald Inn and washed it down with a Guinness. An hour later I started feeling low and so I dove into a Levain cookie. Big mistake. Levain cookies, as everybody knows, are completely irresistible. They are also very sweet. My glucose spiked.
8:30 -> 250 Despite having a coffee and performing for 30min my sugars were high. I had some apple cider vinegar and a protein shake (virtually no carbs) to try and get them under control.
12:10 -> 15 units of Lantus
12:40 -> 91 'Atta boy! I took 5 units and had a delicious salad (red romaine, dandelion greens, arugula sprouts, cucumbers, tomatoes, red onions, avocado, evoo, balsamic, spices, bulgarian feta) and some indian curried spinach with paneer cheese and about a serving and a half of TJ's harvest grains.
2:42 -> 59 Guess I should have had more harvest grains. I had a medium teaspoon of honey, waited 5-10 minutes and then had those harvest grains along with the remaining lamb stew. Had some chips with hummus and then went to bed.
Diabetes is going to take time. I wake up 20 minutes earlier every day now because I want time to check my sugar and to administer insulin. I also need more time preparing my bag before going out, making sure I have all my equipment, all my medication, emergency food, journal, etc. And of course I do my best to prepare food for the rest of the day.
At night time I make dinner as soon as I get home but need to wait two hours for my sugars to settle before I can go to bed (and before I can publish posts) which inevitably means I don't get to bed until around 3 in the morning.
During my waking hours Diabetes takes time as well. Today I went to three stores before I found the batteries necessary for my waning glucometer. My test strips are running low again too. I called 5 times to see if a certain blood diagnostic center could fit me into their schedule. Each time I got a recording.
But just as energy spent begets energy (the more you workout the more energy you have) so does time used efficiently beget efficient use of time. I guess what I'm trying to say, and not very well at that, is I'm finding I have fewer hours of leisure each day, and yet I'm making better use of those hours. I'm secretly hoping that Diabetes was actually the cure for my persistent laziness and lack of focus. Maybe this disease was just what I needed to hone skills of self-control, discipline, persistence - skills I've been lacking in my creativity. Could this be the start of something amazing, somethings amazing? Already ideas come at me faster than I can put to use. A diabetic comedy routine, comic book, iphone app, a non-diabetic feature film, a cookbook, etc. etc. etc. I never would have been able to manage all those things before. But after a few months of regimented self-administered injections and a strict diet... who knows?
Just as iron sharpens iron, so does one condition (diabetes) sharpen another (productivity).
Day 16
"You're Healthy!"
"I don't need no doctor. 'Cause I know what's wrong with me."
~Ray Charles
I wasn't what the doctor expected. No sir. "With numbers like those I was expecting... uh... something else." She said fumbling to complete her thought without offending any absent parties.
"You are one lucky guy, mister... one lucky guy." She shook her head at the horror of a situation that was only just sidestepped.
"When i saw your numbers my hair turned green." Not sure what that meant. Chlorine makes your hair turn green. Maybe my numbers infuriated her so much she had to cool down with a swim. Yes, that's it.
"Do you know what your blood sugar has been today?" I did.
"Why yes, I just took it moment's ago in your office. It was a bit high. 170."
"170? And before that what was it?" I sifted through my bag for the printed journal I had made out of my numbers, my highs, lows, diet, etc.
"Here" I said, handing her the papers. "Highs are in red, lows in blue." Silence entered the room, her hand held over her mouth.
"These are good numbers."
Everything else was good too. No sign of thyroid problems, liver, kidney all seemed fine, heart rate was normal, blood pressure was a little wacky (110/90) but sensitivity in my digits was as acute as a healthy person. I was healthy. I am healthy. She didn't understand.
"But something had to cause it. Something triggers it." We searched for answers. When did the symptoms start? I started losing weight dramatically in the beginning of December, but I was already making jokes about weight loss at Thanksgiving, and the week when I visited home, and when I went to Maine. I had already started to be skinny, without really doing anything myself. How far back could it go? I mean, in the past year I can't think of anything traumatic enough to stand out. I go back further and further and finally landed on the night of my birthday 2010, Nagoya, Japan. I drank to the point of blackout.
"Could that have been it?"
"I'm not sure, but we'll run a few more tests." A few more tests meant a total of 15 (cha ching). I also have to schedule an appointment to see a nurse (cha ching). And then return to see her again (cha ching, cha ching!). But somehow we'll get to the bottom of it. In the meantime...
Here's what y'all have been waitin' for!
pbpk -> 178.3
8:30 -> 119 And may I never again wake up this early. 5 units of Novolog with cereal.
10:51 -> 170 Sitting in her office I was getting the munchies and so started working on my pb&j. I finished the pb&j and then during rehearsal polished off a clif bar, had a protein shake, and several handfuls of almonds.
5:28 -> 157 Sat down for 5 units of Novolog with dinner: Veggie and goat cheese sandwich and mulligatawny soup with black bread. Also had some peanuts.
7:31 -> 91 Checked 30 minutes into the show. Had a Lara bar, then some more peanuts and another protein shake.
12:07 -> 93 Pre-supper. Took 5 units of Novolog and also 15 units of Lantus. Dinner was an epic bulgarian salad with an egg and lamb stew with carrots, potatoes, onions, wheatberry and a grain blend. Also had potatoes and onions fried in lamb fat.
2:30 -> 113 Looks like I did a pretty good job, although I did eat slowly so I have a feeling the sugar is on the rise. Tomorrow morning should tell.
Day 15
~Ray Charles
I wasn't what the doctor expected. No sir. "With numbers like those I was expecting... uh... something else." She said fumbling to complete her thought without offending any absent parties.
"You are one lucky guy, mister... one lucky guy." She shook her head at the horror of a situation that was only just sidestepped.
"When i saw your numbers my hair turned green." Not sure what that meant. Chlorine makes your hair turn green. Maybe my numbers infuriated her so much she had to cool down with a swim. Yes, that's it.
"Do you know what your blood sugar has been today?" I did.
"Why yes, I just took it moment's ago in your office. It was a bit high. 170."
"170? And before that what was it?" I sifted through my bag for the printed journal I had made out of my numbers, my highs, lows, diet, etc.
"Here" I said, handing her the papers. "Highs are in red, lows in blue." Silence entered the room, her hand held over her mouth.
"These are good numbers."
Everything else was good too. No sign of thyroid problems, liver, kidney all seemed fine, heart rate was normal, blood pressure was a little wacky (110/90) but sensitivity in my digits was as acute as a healthy person. I was healthy. I am healthy. She didn't understand.
"But something had to cause it. Something triggers it." We searched for answers. When did the symptoms start? I started losing weight dramatically in the beginning of December, but I was already making jokes about weight loss at Thanksgiving, and the week when I visited home, and when I went to Maine. I had already started to be skinny, without really doing anything myself. How far back could it go? I mean, in the past year I can't think of anything traumatic enough to stand out. I go back further and further and finally landed on the night of my birthday 2010, Nagoya, Japan. I drank to the point of blackout.
"Could that have been it?"
"I'm not sure, but we'll run a few more tests." A few more tests meant a total of 15 (cha ching). I also have to schedule an appointment to see a nurse (cha ching). And then return to see her again (cha ching, cha ching!). But somehow we'll get to the bottom of it. In the meantime...
Here's what y'all have been waitin' for!
pbpk -> 178.3
8:30 -> 119 And may I never again wake up this early. 5 units of Novolog with cereal.
10:51 -> 170 Sitting in her office I was getting the munchies and so started working on my pb&j. I finished the pb&j and then during rehearsal polished off a clif bar, had a protein shake, and several handfuls of almonds.
5:28 -> 157 Sat down for 5 units of Novolog with dinner: Veggie and goat cheese sandwich and mulligatawny soup with black bread. Also had some peanuts.
7:31 -> 91 Checked 30 minutes into the show. Had a Lara bar, then some more peanuts and another protein shake.
12:07 -> 93 Pre-supper. Took 5 units of Novolog and also 15 units of Lantus. Dinner was an epic bulgarian salad with an egg and lamb stew with carrots, potatoes, onions, wheatberry and a grain blend. Also had potatoes and onions fried in lamb fat.
2:30 -> 113 Looks like I did a pretty good job, although I did eat slowly so I have a feeling the sugar is on the rise. Tomorrow morning should tell.
Day 15
Monday, January 2, 2012
Diabetic Purchase: Filson Field Bag
Tomorrow's the big day. I'm off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of the block south of Columbus Circle. A wizard of human hormone stabilization, and hopefully the beginning of my own self-micromanagement. She will help me unlock the algorithms that will transform my body into the hero I am destined to be. She'll be Merlin I'll be King Arthur. She'll be M and I'll be James Bond. She'll be Pamela Landy and I'll be Jason Bourne. Alfred and Batman. Armed with my lancing needles and my syringe, my emergency sugar and my notebook I'll wander the streets of Manhattan stopping crimes of ignorance, spreading knowledge of diabetes and bringing calm to the dwellers of my bloodstream. When that day comes, so shall the birth of "G.I. Jon" (glycemic index Jon).
Today was pretty good. I returned the humidifier that I bought when I was experiencing the diabetic symptom of dryness. With the money I got back I purchased a discounted tan and leather Filson field bag. I also exchanged a gifted men's dress shirt for one closer to my size. Brian and I made headway in the creation of a Destiny Trail website. I toured the Park Slope Coop, and all while keeping my blood sugar within an 82 point range!
And something else happened today. I finally received my man purse. Behold!
I'm already pretty much in love with it. It comfortably fits my two insulin pens, about 200 test strips, 20 lances, 30 needles, a few days worth of my vitamins, my glucagon pen, a few Larabars, a few Gu packets, back up batteries for my glucometer, my glucometer, my food and bg journal, my check book, my carb counter book, a reading book, and my pharmacy receipts. It can be synched pretty tight with the above contents, or I've also managed to fit a scarf and water bottle in it and still manage to fasten it in the last loophole. It is guaranteed for 100 years. I can't wait to see how it ages!
srebmun!
12:31 -> 129 Woke up late, felt a little groggy, but the memory of waking 10 times per night is fresh enough in my mind that any continuous sleep is heavenly.
12:42 -> Took 5 units with a breakfast of lamb stew and 2 apples.
2:59 -> 100 After a few hours in the city I had a pb&j.
5:57 -> 131 I worked with Brian for a couple of hours, snacked on these healthy baked "twigs" and had a Lara bar.
7:40 -> Took 5 units with a dinner of black bean soup with spinach, cheddar cheese, chips, rice, guac and 2 beers.
9:40 -> 182 I probably shouldn't have had that last mouthful of rice.
10:40 -> Took 5 units with a supper of an EPIC SALAD (dandelion greens, broccoli sprouts, grape tomatoes, cucumber, bulgarian feta, avocado, amish bacon, balsamic) and more lamb stew.
12:49 -> 107 I hit the sweet spot. Yeah baby!
2:00 -> 15 units of Lantus. Took this a bit earlier than usual because tomorrow's an early day. But had a piece of toast just in case the insulin overlap made me drop.
Now this crime fighter needs to go to bed. He has an early day of wrestling horses and fighting tanks, after which he will see the wizard.
Day 14
Today was pretty good. I returned the humidifier that I bought when I was experiencing the diabetic symptom of dryness. With the money I got back I purchased a discounted tan and leather Filson field bag. I also exchanged a gifted men's dress shirt for one closer to my size. Brian and I made headway in the creation of a Destiny Trail website. I toured the Park Slope Coop, and all while keeping my blood sugar within an 82 point range!
And something else happened today. I finally received my man purse. Behold!
I'm already pretty much in love with it. It comfortably fits my two insulin pens, about 200 test strips, 20 lances, 30 needles, a few days worth of my vitamins, my glucagon pen, a few Larabars, a few Gu packets, back up batteries for my glucometer, my glucometer, my food and bg journal, my check book, my carb counter book, a reading book, and my pharmacy receipts. It can be synched pretty tight with the above contents, or I've also managed to fit a scarf and water bottle in it and still manage to fasten it in the last loophole. It is guaranteed for 100 years. I can't wait to see how it ages! srebmun!
12:31 -> 129 Woke up late, felt a little groggy, but the memory of waking 10 times per night is fresh enough in my mind that any continuous sleep is heavenly.
12:42 -> Took 5 units with a breakfast of lamb stew and 2 apples.
2:59 -> 100 After a few hours in the city I had a pb&j.
5:57 -> 131 I worked with Brian for a couple of hours, snacked on these healthy baked "twigs" and had a Lara bar.
7:40 -> Took 5 units with a dinner of black bean soup with spinach, cheddar cheese, chips, rice, guac and 2 beers.
9:40 -> 182 I probably shouldn't have had that last mouthful of rice.
10:40 -> Took 5 units with a supper of an EPIC SALAD (dandelion greens, broccoli sprouts, grape tomatoes, cucumber, bulgarian feta, avocado, amish bacon, balsamic) and more lamb stew.
12:49 -> 107 I hit the sweet spot. Yeah baby!
2:00 -> 15 units of Lantus. Took this a bit earlier than usual because tomorrow's an early day. But had a piece of toast just in case the insulin overlap made me drop.
Now this crime fighter needs to go to bed. He has an early day of wrestling horses and fighting tanks, after which he will see the wizard.
Day 14
Sunday, January 1, 2012
New Year's Day
Today was irregular. I slept over at Mimi's place and so even though I woke up at 11:00 I didn't eat until 1:00pm. Then I snacked a bit at work but only did one show and then it was only the Crow track (easiest track) so I probably didn't burn through much glucose. By the time I got home and did all the errands I wanted to do it was quite late. So I had 5 units with dinner and then a few short hours later had 5 more units with a small supper. My number creeped a bit high in the evening probably because of my inactivity. Boy are those numbers are sensitive!
And here they are:
11:03 -> 130 Felt good, slept well
1:00 -> No symptoms but hungry. Took 5 units with dim sum: 10 dumplings, sauteed greens, shrimp, duck, taro cake. Had an apple when I got tow ork.
2:43 -> 107 I guess I ate the right amount of dumplings.
4:22 -> 156 I had a cup of coffee and a bit of banana pudding and wanted to make sure the sensations I was feeling were actual fatigue from the show and not blood sugar related.
9:03 -> 154 Not much change, I ate a Lara bar in between the past two times, and another apple but otherwise didn't eat anything until my dinner of an epic salad, brussel sprouts, a pb&j and some red cabbage. 5 units of novolog.
11:17 -> 132 Had about 5 quadratini
1:38 -> 200 Looks like I had a few too many quadratini. Took 5 more units with cereal. If I had tested a better number I only would have taken 4 units because I wasn't that hungry.
2:25 -> 15 units of Lantus.
3:34 -> 155 Good enough, I'm going to bed. I hope it goes no higher while I sleep.
All in all not a terrible day, but certainly irregular. But maybe I can try my theory of how activity affects my number next week. I should try to keep the same level of activity on every day that I work and then on my rest day I'll know to have few carbs with meals.
I go and see the endocrinologist on Tuesday and so I've decided to compile a list of questions that I'll ask her. If you can think of anything I may be forgetting please leave it in the comment section or contact me some other way.
Type 1 Diabetes:
Do you foresee a cure?
Are there any long term consequences of having "lows"?
Am I a good candidate for a pump? If so, how much are they? What do you do if they stop working?
How often do I have to change injection sites? How soon can I repeat sites?
What is the best way to identify myself as a diabetic to others (bracelet? id card?)?
Hypothetically, can exercise replace insulin as a blood sugar lowering device?
When insulin lowers your blood sugar what is happening? Where does the sugar go?
Do you know any single girls with Type 1?
What would it take to get you to read my blog?
Day 13
And here they are:
11:03 -> 130 Felt good, slept well
1:00 -> No symptoms but hungry. Took 5 units with dim sum: 10 dumplings, sauteed greens, shrimp, duck, taro cake. Had an apple when I got tow ork.
2:43 -> 107 I guess I ate the right amount of dumplings.
4:22 -> 156 I had a cup of coffee and a bit of banana pudding and wanted to make sure the sensations I was feeling were actual fatigue from the show and not blood sugar related.
9:03 -> 154 Not much change, I ate a Lara bar in between the past two times, and another apple but otherwise didn't eat anything until my dinner of an epic salad, brussel sprouts, a pb&j and some red cabbage. 5 units of novolog.
11:17 -> 132 Had about 5 quadratini
1:38 -> 200 Looks like I had a few too many quadratini. Took 5 more units with cereal. If I had tested a better number I only would have taken 4 units because I wasn't that hungry.
2:25 -> 15 units of Lantus.
3:34 -> 155 Good enough, I'm going to bed. I hope it goes no higher while I sleep.
All in all not a terrible day, but certainly irregular. But maybe I can try my theory of how activity affects my number next week. I should try to keep the same level of activity on every day that I work and then on my rest day I'll know to have few carbs with meals.
I go and see the endocrinologist on Tuesday and so I've decided to compile a list of questions that I'll ask her. If you can think of anything I may be forgetting please leave it in the comment section or contact me some other way.
Type 1 Diabetes:
Do you foresee a cure?
Are there any long term consequences of having "lows"?
Am I a good candidate for a pump? If so, how much are they? What do you do if they stop working?
How often do I have to change injection sites? How soon can I repeat sites?
What is the best way to identify myself as a diabetic to others (bracelet? id card?)?
Hypothetically, can exercise replace insulin as a blood sugar lowering device?
When insulin lowers your blood sugar what is happening? Where does the sugar go?
Do you know any single girls with Type 1?
What would it take to get you to read my blog?
Day 13
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