100 Days of Diabetes!

In honor of my 100th day with diabetes I wanted to share the story of another man to whom the number 100 is quite important:

100 Things

Here's a short description of who he is and what he's doing taken from his website:

"Everyone has at least one thing they have to do before they die. Some even have a list. But how many goals and dreams on this list are actually achieved?

In 2009, at the ripe-old age of 27, Sebastian realized that like most people, he has not achieved anything on his long-forgotten list.?? The death of a close friend combined with a naturally abstract view on life sparks a moment of clarity. In the midst of overseas trip, Sebastian decides to put pen to paper and re-create a list of 100 Things. His goal, to tick off everything. It’s the start of a crazy, no holds barred adventure that sees Sebastian travel to the ends of the earth on a quest to prove that anything is possible, including true fulfillment.

Along the way, Sebastian strives to raise $100,000 for Camp Quality (Item # 4), a great organization creating happiness for children and families affected by cancer."

I am truly inspired by this man's commitment to really living fully. And he asks a great question: What's your 100 list consist of?

Dailies:

12:28 -> 107 Took 2 Prandin and 1 unit of Novolog (because my number was over 100) w/cereal 120c, pb and banana 47c, apple 20c, apple 25c. Ran 6.5 miles!!
5:52 -> 58 Low because of the run. Took 3 P w/pea soup 100c, salad 30c, grapefruit 24c, orange 18c, apple 18c, 2 cookies 35c, Larabar 31c.
11:42 -> 70 Had Larabar 31c, potato wedge 9c.
4:19 -> 99 Took 3 units Lantus and had apple 25c.

Day 100

Blue Zones

If you ever catch me talking about what started me down my exploration of wellness then you've probably heard about the Blue Zones. I started working out around the age of 15 when I discovered crew. But it wasn't until five years later when I learned about the other aspects of wellness. You see, the recipe for living forever isn't just eating right and exercise. It's more comprehensive than that, it encompasses your entire lifestyle and includes things you may not expect. But don't take my word from it. These lessons were learned from centenarians around the world.

The idea of "Blue Zones" started when National Geographic writer Dan Buetner decided to write an article about a region of Sardinia with unnaturally high occurrences of longevity. After going there he was overwhelmed by just how true this claim was. Not only were people living longer, but they were living healthier. Many of the people he witnessed showed the mental and physical capacity of people 20 years their junior. After the article was published more and more of these "Blue Zones" (areas he circled on a map with a blue pen... the name stuck) started popping up. One in Okinawa, Japan; one in Ikaria, Greece; Another in Costa Rica; One surprisingly in Loma Linda, California.

I followed his progress and was equally awestruck. It changed the way i thought about health and wellness, and made me reexamine my life goals.

Since then I've wandered away from the study, found other books, discovered new philosophies, listened to people, experts, friends, etc. Then Diabetes and the rest hit me and I've been a bit lost in the midst of it all. But over dinner the other night the topic came up and I was happy to share what I remembered of this study. I wanted a visual example and went online to show the videos of their progress in Greece and found...

... there were now videos documenting some of their research in Japan and Costa Rica too!! I'll give you one guess how I spent the next hour. Just seeing the vitality in those centenarians thrills me to no end. I hope that others are as affected as I am by this fascinating exploration of lifestyle.

Dailies:

10:43 -> 78 Took 2 Prandin w/cereal 120c, apple 15c, pumpkin seeds 4c, cookie 18c.
1:54 -> 210 Too high... may be time to get back on Novolog. The Prandin just isn't working fast enough to avoid these highs. Had an orange 14c at 3:20.
4:53 -> 67 Well, at least it works. Took 3 P w/black eyed peas 115c, salad 30c, apple 23c, orange 14c, grapefruit 25c. At 9:30 had cookie 18c. At 11:30 had a glass of white wine.
12:56 -> 73 Had 1 Prandin with brussel sprouts 20c, chips w/salsa 20c, apple sauce 10c, and yellow pepper 7c.
3:03 -> 108 Took 3 units of Lantus with a piece of toast w/pb 15c.

Tomorrow I get more blood work done. If the C Peptide is lower I'll go back to insulin. If the Thyroid hormone is lower I'll start taking supplemental hormones. Either way knowledge is the path to balance.

Day 99

Running and Smiling

Anybody who's read Born to Run may remember an interesting study done which demonstrated a link between the speed and cardiovascular capacity of a runner and his/her emotional state. In other words you can run faster and longer when you're happy. Surprised? I probably was a bit myself the first time I came across this info. But you shouldn't be. In fact, nothing makes better sense. Time flies (and so do you!) when you're having fun. Everything becomes better when you're in a positive state of mind. Happy children learn more in school. Happy people live longer. Happy athletes perform better.

So I woke up today and knew that part of the slump I had been in for a few days was caused in part by lack of physical activity. Here I am at the physical peak of my life and just sitting around for several consecutive days. What a waste. And even though lethargy is addictive, so is exercise. All it takes is that first plunge.

I donned a wool undershirt and some shorts, pulled a beanie over my ears and set out to loop the park. A short and rapid stride seemed to come naturally so I unleashed my legs and started off at a pretty quick pace. As I began to tire about two miles in I realized my mind was going through this endless cycle of dread. Dreading the pain of running, the hill coming up, a potential sugar high or low, the stiffness of cold hands, etc. How lame!!

Then I forced myself to smile. And just that simple act, a forced smile caused my gaze to rise from the ground in front of me to the nature around me. Instead of the cold on my hands I felt the warmth on my face. Instead of feeling the pain in my joints I felt the pleasure in my muscles. And as quickly as it took for those facial muscles to contract, life became good again.

Dailies:

12:01 -> 86 Love it! 80s! Took 2 Prandin w/cereal 120c. Went for a 4.5 mile run.
3:34 -> 93 Kinda sorta hoped to be lower, but the number's actually good. Took 3 Prandin w/black beans 67c, tortillas 33c, quinoa 60c, salsa 14c, kale 3c, seaweed 15c, apple sauce 15c. Later had a cookie 18c (good lord it was good!), apple 30c, another cookie (did I mention how good they were?). At 10:20 i felt LOW so had a Larabar 31c.
11:54 -> 103 Took 2 Prandin w/dinner: Mache salad 20c, chick pea/beet/carrot salad 45c, grapefruit 25c, 1 cup lentil soup 25c.
2:18 -> 199 A bit high, but I only just finished eating the grapefruit. I'll take 3 units of Lantus tonight because I ran today and have a busy day tomorrow and don't want to risk lows.

As a side note: I never felt any depression today. Thanks exercise!

Day 98

No Insulin Experiment

"This is my quest, to follow that star, no matter how hopeless, no matter how far."
~ Don Quixote in Man of La Mancha

The results are in and I am pleased to say that I survived my first synthetic insulin free day since December 19, 2011. Does anybody else find this as insanely awesome as I do? What a freakin' journey. I went to the doctor with all the classic symptoms of diabetes. I had an A1C of 13, a blood sugar level of 569, a C Peptide level of .55. In common English that translates to "YOU HAVE DIABETES DUDE!" This to me was an unbeatable disease, that's what everybody said. But in those early days I forgot a very powerful truth.

Unbeatable is not the same as unfightable.

I am very very lucky right now. My doctor has said it before and I've realized it many times since. I'm lucky. I've reversed every number that I just listed. My A1C continues to drop, and if I continue on my current trajectory I hope to get back an A1C under 7 when I get blood work done next week. My blood glucose was 67 last I checked and my C Peptide is 1.65, back in the healthy range.

Now, just because I've stopped taking insulin doesn't mean my Diabetes is in remission or anything like that. I'm still on 6 pills a day. I suffer lows an highs on a daily basis. But remember this:

A diagnosis is not a death sentence.

There are two ways to deal with being diagnosed with any type of Diabetes. You can bend over and allow Western medicine and western doctors to make a statistic out of you, or you can do everything in your power to maintain as close to normal health as possible. Make changes. Be an outlier. And keep up the good fight!

Dailies:

10:43 -> 89 This is my first fasting sugar level after not taking basal insulin. Took 2 Prandin with cereal 110c. At 1:30 had strawberries 30c. At 2:00 had 2 mandarin oranges 17c. At 3:30 had blueberries and nuts 10c. At 4:30 had an apple 25c in anticipation of a workout. Ran with sprints, about 4 miles.
5:30 -> 75 Took 2 Prandin with dinner: lentil soup with rice 100c and salad 30c and 2 mandarin oranges 17c. At 8 had strawberries 30 and fake coffee 4c. At 9:30 had an apple 15c, a cookie 10c and my last orange 9c.
12:31 -> 67 Took 2 Prandin with supper: red cabbage and squash 100c (that's a LOT of cabbage) and beans 57c and quinoa 30c.
3:26 -> 182 I'm not unhappy with this number. A little high, sure, but not so high, and since it's three hours since my last pills I'd guess this number is heading down. Will be interesting to see my morning number on what will be Day 2 of the experiment!

Gratitudes:
1. I held my blood sugar under 200 on my first day off insulin.
2. I felt compelled to periodically sprint during my run today.
3. The sun was out and the sky was clear. Spring is almost here.

Doc told me last time I saw her that she wanted my body to "cool down" which was the reason for ditching the Gluten and for ramping up the vitamins. Well, I'd say my body's pretty cool right now.

Day 78

Identity Crisis - Part 1

Not Knowing Where I Come From...

Where does my diabetes come from?

"The Stork brings it" ~Mom
"When two people really love each other..." ~Dad
"Happy Meals" ~ Ronald McDonald
"Bad Luck" ~clueless people
"Genetics" ~some books
"America!" ~Stephen Colbert
"There's an inciting incident" ~Doc Thys
"Muhahahahaha!!!" ~Mr. G. Reaper

I find myself scampering through books for answers, driving back into my memory for clues, but it's like the picture above. No matter how closely I look at the picture, what's at the beginning of the tracks remains, and will forever remain a mystery. Searching for answers brings too many. Genetics likely plays some role in the development of diabetes. But then my doctor took me off Gluten and my condition improved, so maybe it's a gluten intolerance. Now I'm reading a book that provides evidence of a link between childhood dairy consumption and several autoimmune diseases, which seems to pretty accurately describe me.

It's like the Nature v. Nurture question of disease. Am I fully absolved of any responsibility or guilt for my condition and just pulled an unlucky straw, or have I spent the last 26 years making decision after bad decision that slowly polluted my body to the point of it attacking itself? Both have supporters with medical degrees, both present compelling arguments, both can throw a pile of statistics in the air with great vigor. But none of that gets me closer to the why, when or how of the matter.

I see myself walking along in the dark, whistling a tune, with a swagger to my step and all of the sudden the lights turn on and I realize I'm walking a wire no wider than a pencil. To either side of me is a steep plunge to a certain death. I look back to see where I took a wrong turn, where the signs were "narrow path ahead", or evidence of the road gradually narrowing, but behind me is only darkness. And now for the rest of my life the swagger is gone, my tread has to be light and calculated, gentle and patient, careful and intentional. And with every step I take, the darkness behind me is more and more impenetrable. I am closer right now to being able to find an incident or explanation in my past that triggered this whole series of events as I ever will be. And I can tell you next to nothing.

Where does my diabetes come from? This question will haunt me until the day I die.

Dailies:

11:09 -> 61 That's the lowest morning I've ever had. I blame the one beer last night, I guess I'll err even higher next time I enjoy my weekly beer. Took 2 Prandin with cereal 105c. Then at 1:00 had an apple 20c. At 2:30 had pb toast 14c.
5:15 -> 87 Hungry! 2 Prandin with lentil souup 56c, salad with beans and broccoli 30c, apple 20c and fake coffee (no cream) 5c = 111c.
9:20 -> 90 Tested because i was hungry. Had 2/3 grapefruit 20c.
12:25 -> 62 Woah! I was feeling low symptoms. Had an apple, waited, took 2 Prandin, waited, had dinner: b sprouts 20c, salad 30c, quinoa 48c, kidney beans 35c = 133c. Took 5 units of Lantus. Seeing as it's night (Lantus worn off), and I had more carbs than usual per pill, I'm expecting a high bedtime number. However, that was slightly intentional since I've had five 60s in the past three days.
3:13 -> 158 Perfect number. I feel comfortable going to bed.


Gratitudes:
1. Grateful for a seat on the subway in both directions.
2. Grateful I wasn't being scrutinized during rehearsal.
3. Grateful for my loving relationship with peanut butter.

Day 73

Three Gratitudes

I'd like to share a video I came across on the internet. It's a lecture given at the 2012 Ted Talks by Shawn Achor about happiness. It's pretty remarkable, but there are a few things in particular that I took from it.

1. Only 10% of your happiness is determined externally, as in affected by your surroundings. The other 90% has to do with you and the way you look at the world.
2. You can improve your 90% with a few simple daily exercises. He includes: 3 daily gratitudes, journaling, exercise, meditation, random acts of kindness.

This means that even though I'm a super happy guy generally I can be happier still. I take on his challenge. For the next week I'll list three things I'm grateful for each day. So here goes nothing!

Gratitudes:
1. I'm grateful today that I was able to put together a great show for a sold-out audience.
2. I'm grateful for the opportunity to see Spider Man: Turn Off the Dark.
3. I'm grateful I have friends willing to join me for a Sunday night of jazz guitar.

That was easy. There are tons more, but three for now.

Watch the video, get inspired.


Dailies:

10:37 -> 99 Took 2 Prandin w/cereal 110c. Apple 20c at 12:30, and another 20c at 2:00
2:47 -> 120 Good Pre-Joey number. Had fake coffee 7c. At intermission (4:30) I had pb toast 14c.
6:21 -> 70 Had a salad 35c. At 11:00 had a glass of red wine.
12:54 -> 89 Took 2 Prandin with dinner: beans 67c, salsa 12c, avocado 15c, chips 18c, brussels sprouts 18c, 2 eggs = 130c. Because it's late I'll probably end up a little high, but that feels like a safer option than going to sleep low, especially because that one glass of wine got me a little tipsy.
2:58 -> 102 Hmm... Because of the wine, and the fact that I took 2 Prandin, and the fact that it's so late I'm going to say that I wanted this number to be a little bit higher before going to bed. The Prandin usually hits me slowly so I don't think it's done working. To play it safe I had 2 cookies 18c that I dunked in peanut butter 4c. I'm such a fatty sometimes.

This video and this message are pertinent to diabetics because they have a twofold risk of becoming depressed compared to the rest of the population based on the National Institute of Mental Health. I don't know the ins and outs of why, but it doesn't take a doctoral degree to realize that newly diagnosed diabetics are vulnerable to feelings of futility and hopelessness that can quickly escalate into depression. Rather than allowing these problems to grow empower yourself with the knowledge necessary to objectively deal with each and ultimately get your life back in under control.

Day 69

Hour of Power

I swear, sometimes I only workout because I know that at the end of the day I'll have something to write about. I dread a blank screen more than I dread a painful training session and so I give myself a minute to decide what sort of workout is best and then I just do it. I wonder if that's the best thing that comes of writing this blog. But if so, then this blog is successful indeed. They call that something, don't they? Doing something not of your own accord but for somebody or something else. They do - they call it accountability.

Who or what are you accountable to? We all have things we could do better. If you're a Type 1.5 diabetic like me, maybe your A1C lives near the 8% mark and you want to get it lower. Maybe you're a type 2 and your goal is weight loss. Or you've taken on the Gluten Free Challenge and find yourself faltering, standing in the aisles at the grocery store with a hand on a box of mac and cheese, or in line at a sandwich shop. Maybe you're training for a competition, or just working towards your own personal goal. Are you a creative type who keeps resolving to start that novel, or finish that screenplay?

Everywhere I look I see people with wonderful wonderful goals. One friend wants to learn Portuguese so he can go to Brazil for the world cup. Another wants to save enough money to buy a house. One has aspirations to be a great banjo player. But goals are cheap. They are. It's a beautiful word that belongs somewhere near maybe or could in the dictionary.

I wrote a bit about willpower yesterday. But today I want you to think about what role accountability can play in fortifying your willpower. And when you're done thinking about it, choose one of your goals (preferably one that is attainable in the near-term, say a month or two) and find a way to hold yourself accountable. Make a pledge to someone who will check in on you and monitor your progress.

So what's an hour of power anyway?

Well, it's a very unoriginal name for sitting on an ergometer...

...and pulling you're butt off...

...for an hour.

It hurts. It's long. It's boring. BUT...




When you finish you realize you've just rowed 9.5 miles, a solid hour, burned over 1000 calories and you know that you are stronger and healthier than you were before. And what's more, you've built your self-confidence and strengthened your resolve. Next time will be easier and easier still until you'll have to make the workout harder to keep up with your progress.

But for those of you who read this only for the fitness aspect, yes, I realize that I've done two epic cardio workouts in one week. I had to do it to prove to myself that I could. It was mental training. Did I have what it would take to push through a distance. I answered that question. My question for next week is, how much intense pain can I suffer in the short term. In other words, sprints, and things like sprints, and lots of them.

Dailies:

12:17 -> 120 Seems a peculiar number. had 2 Prandin w/cereal 110c. Rowed a POWER HOUR! Had an orange 16c and salad w/quinoa 45c and chicken.
5:37 -> 77 Took a Prandin with chicken, quinoa 40c, indian eggplant 26c, orange 16c. Did Joey. At 9:30 had pb toast 15c, protein shake 5c and fake coffee 8c. At 10:45 had a shot of tequila, beer and Larabar 26c. Took 5 units Lantus at 1:50
2:40 -> 74 Don't feel like taking meds and waiting, so I just had baby zucchini 12c w/ tahini 5c.

Day 65

Gluten Free Support

Hello GFers,

How was your first day? I still remember mine. It was as if suddenly, by being forbidden to eat gluten it was the only thing I wanted. I swear I would have had pizza for breakfast, pasta for lunch and beer for dinner. What was more desirable than the gluten itself, however, was the thought of breaking the rules.

So I'll offer you this quote to help you on your journey:

"It's not that some people have willpower and some don't. It's that some people are ready to change and others are not."
- J. Gordon

Are you ready to change?

Dailies:
11:15 -> 77 Wow, lowest morning number I've had in a long time. I think that's a good sign. It's also the most sleep I've had in awhile... correlation? Took 2 Prandin w/cereal 110, orange 16c, blueberries 20c and 1/2 larabar 14c = 160c spread over three hours.
5:09 -> 97 Good number. Took a Prandin with dinner: Chicken and veg 30c, quinoa 30c. Later a Larabar 31c and peanuts 5c.
7:57 -> 141 Good. I was a bit hungry, but I guess I'll wait.
12:21 -> 59 Okay, low. Not crashing low, but slowly lowering because I have a semi-functional pancreas. I didn't worry and just had a low-carb dinner without Prandin: Salad 30c, chicken.
2:45 -> 99 That's a 40 point raise 2.5 hours later with a meal that had lots of protein and some fat (avocado, olive oil) so that number is probably rising slowly. I'll sleep on this number.

Day 64

Check Your Pie

A good friend of mine and a very talented musical theatre performer from the UK once explained her life philosophy as follows:

"You have to think of your life as a pie. And there are three pieces of this pie. One piece is your body - your physical health. This has to do with sleep, fitness, diet, habits, etc. The next slice is your career, your job, your passions, what you work for, what you create, the reason to wake up in the morning. The final slice is love - the love between a father and son, two lovers, you and your friends and you and the people you smile at in the subway.

Make sure that you keep your three slices in balance and you're set. Remember to always check your pie!"

Today was very much that sort of day.

I woke up this morning and despite being sore from my late night row the previous evening I decided to strap on my running shoes, throw on a t-shirt (yes, I know it's January) and jog the circumference of Prospect Park. My knees were frozen, my hands two flesh blocks of ice and the tip of my nose redder than Rudolph, but I forced my way around the park sprinting when I could, walking when I had to and doing my best to will myself through the 4 mile loop. It felt good to get home.

A delicious breakfast later and I went to the Russian baths for a 3 hour lounge in the sweat rooms. Hot and cold, hot and cold, I daren't check my blood sugar for fear that a combination of the temperature extremes and the two back to back workouts were wreaking havoc on them. When I had sweat out any remaining impurities form my pre-diabetic life I showered, shaved, baptized myself in lotion and faced the world anew.

The final part of the evening was spent eating at an organic and gluten-free restaurant (review to follow) with a dear old friend and one of the loveliest souls around. Catching up was as easy and nostalgic as arriving back at your house and setting your bags down after a too-long vacation.

A second dinner at home and a very peculiar though nonetheless impeccably well manicured film later and the day had come to an end. Some days feel altogether improbably perfect.

Oh, and I found $20 on the street.

Numbers:

11:35 -> 113 Awesome fasting number. Had a bite of Larabar 10c and then went for a 4 mile jog (with some walking) in the cold.
1:00 -> Breakfast: cereal 110c, pb@j bagel 45c, 6 oz steak, apple 15c = 170 = 4 units (with a few extra carbs to account for the run). Then 3 hours at the Russian bath.
7:29 -> 66 A bit low, a sign that I probably did a good ratio earlier, and the hot saunas kept me high, but actually I was a bit low. I ate my whole dinner and only injected before the dessert to give my bg a chance to raise a bit before the insulin took affect. Dinner: 6 oz filet mignon, 8 0z squash and pear soup 25c, vitamins, broccoli, chicken in lettuce wrap 8c, tiramisu 30c, brownie 12c, ice cream 12c = 88c = 2 units.
11:10 -> 91 Second dinner: Baked beans 87c, toast 28c, 9 oz steak, brussels sprouts and kale 18c, grapefruit 26c, chocolate 6c = 165c = 4 units.
1:29 -> 134 Good number: Took 6 units of Lantus.

I also finished my second book of the year today. Sex at Dawn - a provocative and dangerous account of the sexual evolution of our species.

Day 42