Made it Through the Night

Have I told you what my number was? The number that I'll remember even better than where I was when the planes hit the twin towers, the number I'll remember longer than my most awkward of first kisses? I have, but let me tell you again.

569

That's my blood glucose level. If a vampire were to attack me he'd think he was drinking maple syrup from my veins. He'd be right.

It's a high number, and I freaked out. I'm not ashamed to admit that I welled up when I later reported the number to friends and family.

Morning weight was 166. I awoke only once during the night to pee, and though my mind was busier than the Ginza intersection in Japan I managed to sleep deeply. The day was spent with 5% of my mind on my daily routines and 95% on body awareness. Was that my hand shaking? Do I feel warm? Lightheaded? Am I angry at my coworker because he's a jerk or because my blood sugar is dipping? What about the cramp in my arm? The telescoping effect my eyes are experiencing? What color is my pee? What does it smell like?

All in all I felt much better throughout the day, and would be pleased if this is an indication of things to come.

I ate a monster breakfast: a bowl of yogurt with frozen fruit, nuts, flax seed and cereal; two eggs and some turkey sausage; a small salad.

At work I had lentils, chicken with roasted carrots, celery and onions in a cheese sauce, a sweet potato, an apple, a banana, several handfuls of peanuts, some almonds, mixed green salad and two protein shakes.

Dinner was another salad with bulgarian feta, tomatoes, cucs, avocado, balsamic and evoo; more leftover chicken with mire poire; a better concoction of lentils with dried porcinis, garlic and truffle oil; a pb&j; and two small quadratini cookies.

I gave myself the shot at 2:35, inch and a half to the right and below my navel. Easier this time. I did it right after 6 decent handstand pushups and about 20 regulars (with one leg in the air of course). I want to get big and strong again. I WILL get big and strong again. No... bigger and stronger! I want to be approaching 190 of very powerful very lean muscle. I want to be like a brick wall to people bumping me in the street.

Had a cup of peppermint tea today, a little skim milk, no sweetener. The tab read:

"If there is life, there is hope"

Day 2