First Diabetic Christmas

I spent the night at the house of Marla and Kelly Graham-McMillan, my dad's first cousin and so I wasn't near my usual scale for weigh in. I rested well, sleeping deeply and dreaming of diabetes. With any luck a few weeks from now I'll start dreaming of really delicious desserts (note to self: learn how to lucid dream a life as a pastry chef). Diet and numbers:

11:07 -> 219 when I woke up
11:45 -> 5 units of Novolog with a serving of berries, an avocodo, lentils and coffee
1:50 -> 71 I felt low as symptomized by anxiety and shakiness. Had grapes, cheese an crackers, nuts, salmon and prosciutto. Continued snacking on nuts for hunger.
5:17 -> 171 I felt good but hungry. This is usually when I eat dinner.
7:45 -> 171 still good but starving! Hunger and blood sugar apparently aren't correlative. I took 6 units here in anticipation of dinner: 6 oz filet mignon, 2.5 servings of asparagus, 1.5 servings of carrots with maple glaze, 2 servings of mashed potatoes, salad, fruit jello (real orange, cranberry and celery), glass of wine.
9:30 -> Couldn't resist a sliver each of pumpkin and lemon meringue pie. Felt hungry after dinner and continued to experience hunger as well as warmth and drowsiness.
9:55 -> 221 I could have guessed it was high.
11:44 -> 276 Felt pretty good so this number was disappointing. Took 5 more units with a tin of smoked herring, yams, raw carrots, some shrimp, a piece of cheese and some lettuce.
1:54 -> 222 This was disappointing. I was still peckish (Brit for hungry) too.
2:41 -> 150 After my too high number before I drank a bunch of water did 50 pushups and 100 squats, brushed my teeth and checked again. I was happy with this number and so gave myself my evening dose of 15 units from the Lantus. For the second time I don't think it all went in because after pulling the needle out some clear fluid came out with it. I am struggling to inject into fat tissue in my thighs. I'll get better.


I knew today would be unique. I was eating foods I don't usually eat at hours that are irregular for me. Many of the foods at dinner were starchier or more glycemic than foods I'm accustomed to, and I allowed myself to have a glass of wine and a bit of pie. The lemon meringue in particular was very sugary and likely caused my late evening spike. Also, the hunger caused by the hyperglycemia can be dangerous. I'll need to learn that if I'm hungry after a meal to restrict myself to high protein/fat foods only. Being sedentary all day also affected my numbers.

But today wasn't just about diabetes. It was also Christmas spent with family members I only rarely get to see. The day was postcard perfect: a great breakfast spread, presents by the tree, some quality time with the oldest generation, a feast for ten, a game of cards and a movie while cuddled up on the couch. The movie was "Princess Bride" starring what was almost then, but certainly would be come, an all star line up of actors. But one in particular stood out to me tonight. The mass of a man, with a chest like the hull of a boat and a head like those imagined in prehistory by the Moai of Easter Island, Andre the Giant.

Wikipedia does a pretty good job of summarizing the life and trials of this iconic man, but in the moment of watching (possibly ignited by the most cliché of lines by Peter Faulk "where is it written that life's fair?") it dawned on me that he too had no choice. He didn't choose a life of sticking out, crippling adulthood fame and an early death. He didn't choose to be so big it took on occasion over 100 beers for him to get drunk. He didn't choose to be too big to ride on the school bus as a child. But these things happen, and people deal with it. Take a look at Princess Bride and you see a man with a smile that is shockingly big even for his 7'4 500 pound body. The man was happy, often and fully. I can say this with confidence because he certainly isn't a good enough actor to fake it. If he can do it we all can.

Day 6