No More Veganism

This has been a very eventful week regarding my health.

HYPOTHYROIDISM
The tempest began with a visit to my favorite endocrinologist who told me my thyroid has more or less failed and therefore prescribed a daily dose of thyroid hormone to take orally every morning. We guessed on the dosage, she said she could start me super low (.25) but was pretty sure I'd eventually need more (.5 or .75). I told her she might as well give me the bigger dose already (bigger relatively, some people take up to 3mg I think) and so I've started on .5mg of Levothyroxine every morning. As she suspected taking this pill had pretty visible affects in my energy and mood. I found myself able to survive a whole day of rehearsals and shows without the usual moodiness, at least for the first day or two. By the third day, however, I found myself feeling a bit dodgy again. I'd find myself getting lightheaded whenever I stood up too fast, my muscles felt achy just from climbing stairs, I felt weak and then late at night I started feeling very nauseous, which is a sign of...

ADDISON'S DISEASE
My endocrinologist warned me that taking the thyroid pill, though necessary, may speed up the progression of the Addison's disease which has been present in each of the blood tests I've done over the last several months. Up until now, however, my adrenal function has remained fairly normal considering the insane amount of antibodies present in my blood. But inexplicable nausea (especially considering my blood sugar was fine) was a big red flag for me. She said if I experienced any such symptoms to immediately take an oral hydrocortisone pill. I did, and almost immediately my nausea went away and my energy returned in force (along with an abundantly good mood I left somewhere in last September).

 (did you know that when you have both Hashimoto Thyroiditis and Addison's disease it's called Schmidt syndrome?)

What does this have to do with veganism???

Well, to quote wikipedia:

"To form cortisol, the adrenal gland requires cholesterol."  

Cholesterol comes from animal products. My adrenal gland isn't dead, it's just not working very well, and I'm not helping it by starving it to death.

"You need to start eating meat again."
"Okay."

So my 40 or so days of veganism has come to an end. I've had fish thrice, yogurt twice, and a half a chicken since the appointment (the chicken made me a bit ill). I won't forget what I learned though... although I may save it for another post.

The past few days:

April 10, 2012 - First day of Thyroid pills
9:30 -> 142 Way to f***ing high! Took 2P and 2N w/cereal 140c, chips 10c, banana 27c. Took thyroid pill at 1:00. At 3:00 had Larabar 26c.
4:34 -> 108 Had apple then went on 2 mile run (knee hurt) then took 4P w/ CHIPOTLE burrito bowl 110c.
6:54 -> 112 This is good! It means the Prandin is still doing something despite my C-Peptite being at an all time low of .48 during my most recent blood test. At 8:30 had grapefruit 25c and peanuts 5c.
10:55 -> 66 Took 1P and 2N w/greens 18c, squash 30c, salad 30c, yams 90c and Juice 24c.
3:42 -> 186 Poor planning of my meal, I drank the juice because I felt low because the yams hadn't finished cooking yet. Took 5L.

April 11, 2012
11:06 -> 100 Better. Took 2P and 1N w/cereal 140c, pb toast 19c.
4:52 -> 63 Took 4P w/ Black Eyed Peas and kale 180c, then apple 18c, kiwi 10c, pumpkin seeds and peanuts 8c. At 9:30 had apple 18c.
12:25 -> 63 Took 3N w/salad 30c, squash 40c, yams 60c, carrots 30c, potato 40c and just about exploded from a stupid amount of starchy foods.
4:00 -> 140 Took 5L.

April 12, 2012 - First day of Hydrocortizone
10:37 -> 95 Took 2P and 1N w/cereal 140c, apple 18c. At 2:30 had Larabar 331c and grapefruit 24c.
5:17 -> 70 Took 3P w/brussels sprouts 18c, rice 40c, fish, apple 18c, peanuts and pumpkin seeds 10c, apple 18c and kiwi 20c.
12:15 -> 89 Feel weak and nauseous, took a hydrocortizone and 2N w/dumplings 100c, b sprouts 25c and salad 20c.
5:45 -> 102 (don't judge me) Took 5L w/carrot 8c.

April 13, 2012
12:35 -> 98 Good, consistent. One more # like this and I'll go up to 6L at night. Took 2P w/cereal 130c, then apple 18c then kiwi 10c.
4:55 -> 72 Took 1P w/PUR-BIRD 1/2 chicken 5c and roasted cauliflower 15c, pb and banana 58c and two homemade gluten free bacon bourbon chocolate chip cookies 37c.
12:25 -> 89 Took 1P and 1N w/ indian veg 20c, quinoa 60c and kale 6c.
2:25 -> 114 Pretty dang good, had a carrot 8c and took 5L.

Day 115

The Honeymoon is Over?

When I was first diagnosed in December of 2011, I was warned that I would, for the next few weeks or months (or even a year) experience what is commonly called the "honeymoon period." This is a time before T cells have destroyed all insulin producing pancreatic tissue and so your sugar highs and lows, spikes and drops have a buffer zone produced by your failing organ. I was warned, I was. And yet when I experienced some early success with some dietary alterations and regular exercise regimens I allowed my budding hope to harvest within me, dreaming of some diabetic fairytale where I use positivity and vegetables to send this life long auto-immune disease into remission. I was even off the insulin for a little over a week!

But the time bomb that was my flailing pancreas kept ticking towards an inevitable downfall. And though there is still some trace of function in my pancreas I've been increasing insulin dosage almost daily for the past week.

So here are a lot of numbers since I went MIA. Pay careful attention to the meds/insulin I take and watch as they increase:

March 30, 2012
12:00 -> 98 Still too high for the morning. Took 2P w/ cereal 120c, orange 15c, 1/2 banana 12c, peanuts 4c.
4:52 -> 111 Took 3P w/ pb and 1/2 banana 43c, pea soup 100c, pepper 8c, grapefruit 24c, apple 25c, pumpkin seeds 7c.
11:56 -> 71 Took 2P w/ salad 40c and took 1 unit of Novolog w/ 2 yams 55c, tortilla chips 20c, brussels sprouts and fennel 45c.
2:42 -> 127 Took 4 units Lantus w/ 2 cookies 19c.

March 31, 2012
11:09 -> 86 Good, 80s! Took 2P w/cereal 120c, apple 35c. At 3:30 had 2 oranges 32c and pumpkin seeds 6c.
5:27 -> 64 Low Took 3P w/ Whole Foods: sprouts 4c, cauliflower 5c, beans 100c, potatoes 30c, mango 30c, rice 25c, seaweed 5c = 200c + cookes 26c, fake coffee 4c, grapefruit 25c, more pumpkin seeds 6c.
12:04 -> 59 Tortilla chips 10c then 2P w/salad 45c and yams 70c.
2:38 -> 157 That's exactly where I want to be. Took 4 units Lantus.


April 1, 2012
10:37 -> 84 Great! Took 2P w/cereal 120c, 4 mile run, apple 35c, pb toast 16c, cake 40c, orange 15c.
6:50 -> 80 Took 2P w/SOU-EN ramen 55c and cornbread 50c and 1/2 SUN IN BLOOM cookie sandwich 40c, chips and hummus 10c, strawberries 27c, fries 5c, 2 shots of Fernet Branca.
2:31 -> 58 Larabar 31c, 1 Prandin w/salad 50c.
4:06 -> 83 Took 4 units Lantus w/ pb banana 50c.

April 2, 2012
10:53 -> 113 High, the alcohol processes slowly, and the 4am sandwich was too much. Took 2 P w/cereal 120c, apple 40c, Larabar 27c.
8:43 -> 70 Took 2P w/16 oysters, 3 oz salmon, potatoes 100c, spinach 14c, salad 7c, tomatoes 8c, asparagus 4c, 1 glass of wine.
1:04 -> 150 Took 4 units of Lantus.

April 3, 2012
10:33 -> 96 Higher than I'd like. Took 2P w/cereal 120c.
2:19 -> 164 No good! Took 2P AND injected 2 units of Novolog w/quinoa 60c, chickpeas 35c, grapefruit 25c, squash and cabbage 50c, sweet potatoes 40c, seaweed 5c, cookie 9c.
4:35 -> 41 Woops, overdid the meds. Had 2 bananas 60c, cookies 20c, pumpkin seeds 5c, bread w/hummus 18c and orange 17c.
10:54 -> 111 Took 2P w/salad 45c, greens 5c, 2 kiwis 20c, apple 20c.
2:37 -> 167 Took 4 units of Lantus.

April 4, 2012
10:39 -> 111 Too high for fasting level. Took 2P and 1N w/cereal 120c, grapefruit 24c, apple 18c, pb bread 22c, kiwi 10c.
4:41 -> 105 Not bad. Took 3P w/salad 40c and soup 40c, apple 20c, pb banana 58c.
7:41 -> 113 A tad low for Pre-Joey. Had grape leaves 47c. At intermission had kiwi 10c and pumpkin seeds 5c.
11:52 -> 132 Overdid it earlier I guess. Took 1P and 2N w/(rice 105c, beans 67c, chorizo 13c, salsa 10c, avocado 15c, fake cheese 2c, kale 5c) x 2/3 =140c + salad 25c, chips 15c, more kale 10c.
2:36 -> 96 Had grapefruit 24c with 4L.

April 5, 2012
11:04 -> 65 A little low. Took 2P and 1N w/cereal 125c, apple 18c, apple 18c, kiwi 10c, grapefruit 24c, pumpkin seeds 4c, Larabar 31c.
5:00 -> 95 Apple 25c, 6.2 mile run (46 minutes) Gu 25c.
6:49 -> 94 Nice! Took 2P w/yams 50c, cabbage and squash 60c, pb and j 38c, 2 kiwis 20c, pumpkin seeds 5c. At intermission had a grapefruit 25c.
1:00 -> 83 Took 1P and 2N w/spring roll 20c, Momma made casserole 200c.
3:26 -> 187 Took 4L

April 6, 2012
11:44 -> 61 One more low day and I'm going to decrease the Lantus. Took 2P w/cereal 110c, apple 25c, Larabar 27c.
5:24 -> 95 Took 3P w/SOUEN rice 45c and pesto veg 30C, dessert 45c, apple 38c, p seeds/hummus/peanuts 12c. At intermission pb and j 38c.
11:58 -> 93 Took 1P and 2N w/salad 52c, casserol 150c.
2:30 -> 85 Had 2 kiwis 20c, soy ice cream 20c and 4L.

April 7, 2012
10:51 -> 88 Good! Took 3P w/cereal 125c, apple 30c, grapefruit 24c, pumpkin seeds 4c.
4:52 -> 91 Took 2P w/rice 70c, beans 25c, fake cheese 2c, salad 40c, apple 18c, potatoes 60c, salad 10c, horoset 45c.
7:46 -> 140 Good Pre-Joey number. At intermission had pb and j 38c.
11:52 -> 136 Had 1P and 1N w/ brussel sprouts 18c, lentil soup 38c, pepper 6c, fennel 14c.
2:44 -> 106 Took 4 units with Lantus w/ mango piece 10c.

April 8, 2012
12:05 -> 108 Too high again. Took 2P and 1N w/cereal 130c, grapefruit 25c, gluten free muffin 35c, apple 35c.
6:51 -> 66 Not bad, took 3P w/ MAOZ falafel salad 225c, chips and macaroon 20c.
12:02 -> 136 Took 2P and 1N w/salad 30c, apple 40c, 2 kiwis 20c, green beans 8c = 98c.
2:38 -> 156 Woah, why so high? That's a big number after 2P and 1N. Took 4L.

April 9, 2012
10:56 -> 101 Too dang high! Tonight I take 5L. Took 2P and 2N w/cereal 140c, 2 apples 36c, Larabar 31c.
5:59 -> 55 Cookie 9c, coconut juice 16c, collard greens 18c. Then took 1P and 3N w/kurobata squash 45c, roast carrots 70c, potatoes 50c, Black Eyed Peas 45c.
8:42 -> 52 Corrected with a cookie 9c, black eyed peas 20c and an apple 18c.
11:29 -> 195 Over-corrected much? Ugh! Took 2P and 2N w/brussel sprouts 18c, BEPs w/kale 80c, 2 pieces of toast 60c.
2:07 -> 117 I'm appreciative of this good number. I'll have a kiwi 10c and then take 5 units Lantus. I should be fine with that since I haven't been active all day.

So over the time I'm showing you I've gone from 5 units of insulin per day to 11 units per day, and my Prandin dosage has stayed about the same. I've had 2 highs and 7 lows. When the diabetes progresses I always jump to errors I might have made first. Is it that I've become lax with the veganism? Is it that I don't workout daily but instead to huge cardio workouts once or twice a week? Am I getting lazy with my carb counting? Or...

...is the Honeymoon coming to an end?

Tomorrow I see Dr. Thys. I have some questions for her.

Day 111

100 Days of Diabetes!

In honor of my 100th day with diabetes I wanted to share the story of another man to whom the number 100 is quite important:

100 Things

Here's a short description of who he is and what he's doing taken from his website:

"Everyone has at least one thing they have to do before they die. Some even have a list. But how many goals and dreams on this list are actually achieved?

In 2009, at the ripe-old age of 27, Sebastian realized that like most people, he has not achieved anything on his long-forgotten list.?? The death of a close friend combined with a naturally abstract view on life sparks a moment of clarity. In the midst of overseas trip, Sebastian decides to put pen to paper and re-create a list of 100 Things. His goal, to tick off everything. It’s the start of a crazy, no holds barred adventure that sees Sebastian travel to the ends of the earth on a quest to prove that anything is possible, including true fulfillment.

Along the way, Sebastian strives to raise $100,000 for Camp Quality (Item # 4), a great organization creating happiness for children and families affected by cancer."

I am truly inspired by this man's commitment to really living fully. And he asks a great question: What's your 100 list consist of?

Dailies:

12:28 -> 107 Took 2 Prandin and 1 unit of Novolog (because my number was over 100) w/cereal 120c, pb and banana 47c, apple 20c, apple 25c. Ran 6.5 miles!!
5:52 -> 58 Low because of the run. Took 3 P w/pea soup 100c, salad 30c, grapefruit 24c, orange 18c, apple 18c, 2 cookies 35c, Larabar 31c.
11:42 -> 70 Had Larabar 31c, potato wedge 9c.
4:19 -> 99 Took 3 units Lantus and had apple 25c.

Day 100

Blue Zones

If you ever catch me talking about what started me down my exploration of wellness then you've probably heard about the Blue Zones. I started working out around the age of 15 when I discovered crew. But it wasn't until five years later when I learned about the other aspects of wellness. You see, the recipe for living forever isn't just eating right and exercise. It's more comprehensive than that, it encompasses your entire lifestyle and includes things you may not expect. But don't take my word from it. These lessons were learned from centenarians around the world.

The idea of "Blue Zones" started when National Geographic writer Dan Buetner decided to write an article about a region of Sardinia with unnaturally high occurrences of longevity. After going there he was overwhelmed by just how true this claim was. Not only were people living longer, but they were living healthier. Many of the people he witnessed showed the mental and physical capacity of people 20 years their junior. After the article was published more and more of these "Blue Zones" (areas he circled on a map with a blue pen... the name stuck) started popping up. One in Okinawa, Japan; one in Ikaria, Greece; Another in Costa Rica; One surprisingly in Loma Linda, California.

I followed his progress and was equally awestruck. It changed the way i thought about health and wellness, and made me reexamine my life goals.

Since then I've wandered away from the study, found other books, discovered new philosophies, listened to people, experts, friends, etc. Then Diabetes and the rest hit me and I've been a bit lost in the midst of it all. But over dinner the other night the topic came up and I was happy to share what I remembered of this study. I wanted a visual example and went online to show the videos of their progress in Greece and found...

... there were now videos documenting some of their research in Japan and Costa Rica too!! I'll give you one guess how I spent the next hour. Just seeing the vitality in those centenarians thrills me to no end. I hope that others are as affected as I am by this fascinating exploration of lifestyle.

Dailies:

10:43 -> 78 Took 2 Prandin w/cereal 120c, apple 15c, pumpkin seeds 4c, cookie 18c.
1:54 -> 210 Too high... may be time to get back on Novolog. The Prandin just isn't working fast enough to avoid these highs. Had an orange 14c at 3:20.
4:53 -> 67 Well, at least it works. Took 3 P w/black eyed peas 115c, salad 30c, apple 23c, orange 14c, grapefruit 25c. At 9:30 had cookie 18c. At 11:30 had a glass of white wine.
12:56 -> 73 Had 1 Prandin with brussel sprouts 20c, chips w/salsa 20c, apple sauce 10c, and yellow pepper 7c.
3:03 -> 108 Took 3 units of Lantus with a piece of toast w/pb 15c.

Tomorrow I get more blood work done. If the C Peptide is lower I'll go back to insulin. If the Thyroid hormone is lower I'll start taking supplemental hormones. Either way knowledge is the path to balance.

Day 99

Running and Smiling

Anybody who's read Born to Run may remember an interesting study done which demonstrated a link between the speed and cardiovascular capacity of a runner and his/her emotional state. In other words you can run faster and longer when you're happy. Surprised? I probably was a bit myself the first time I came across this info. But you shouldn't be. In fact, nothing makes better sense. Time flies (and so do you!) when you're having fun. Everything becomes better when you're in a positive state of mind. Happy children learn more in school. Happy people live longer. Happy athletes perform better.

So I woke up today and knew that part of the slump I had been in for a few days was caused in part by lack of physical activity. Here I am at the physical peak of my life and just sitting around for several consecutive days. What a waste. And even though lethargy is addictive, so is exercise. All it takes is that first plunge.

I donned a wool undershirt and some shorts, pulled a beanie over my ears and set out to loop the park. A short and rapid stride seemed to come naturally so I unleashed my legs and started off at a pretty quick pace. As I began to tire about two miles in I realized my mind was going through this endless cycle of dread. Dreading the pain of running, the hill coming up, a potential sugar high or low, the stiffness of cold hands, etc. How lame!!

Then I forced myself to smile. And just that simple act, a forced smile caused my gaze to rise from the ground in front of me to the nature around me. Instead of the cold on my hands I felt the warmth on my face. Instead of feeling the pain in my joints I felt the pleasure in my muscles. And as quickly as it took for those facial muscles to contract, life became good again.

Dailies:

12:01 -> 86 Love it! 80s! Took 2 Prandin w/cereal 120c. Went for a 4.5 mile run.
3:34 -> 93 Kinda sorta hoped to be lower, but the number's actually good. Took 3 Prandin w/black beans 67c, tortillas 33c, quinoa 60c, salsa 14c, kale 3c, seaweed 15c, apple sauce 15c. Later had a cookie 18c (good lord it was good!), apple 30c, another cookie (did I mention how good they were?). At 10:20 i felt LOW so had a Larabar 31c.
11:54 -> 103 Took 2 Prandin w/dinner: Mache salad 20c, chick pea/beet/carrot salad 45c, grapefruit 25c, 1 cup lentil soup 25c.
2:18 -> 199 A bit high, but I only just finished eating the grapefruit. I'll take 3 units of Lantus tonight because I ran today and have a busy day tomorrow and don't want to risk lows.

As a side note: I never felt any depression today. Thanks exercise!

Day 98

Blaisé Day

Today was a day spent in the wake of wonderful plans gone awry. I woke up to a phone call of cancelled plans, then again to the alarm I forgot to turn off, then again to a phone call confirming a doctors appointment. By the time I finally got out of bed I didn't feel rested at all, but couldn't stand wasting any more time under covers.

My day progressed with some small victories in the way of productivity. I visited a new place in Brooklyn, got a small amount of exercise, and had dinner with friends.

I'm in a bit of a slump right now. Part of it may be the thyroid problem, part of it... who knows. But there are definitely actions I can take to get out. For starters I need to start working out again, it always makes me feel better and makes both my insulin sensitivity and my sensitivity to the pill Prandin increase which means more food. Second I need to free my mind from those burdens I can including things like taxes, scheduling blood work, going to a dentist, researching apartments for May, etc. Finally, my general mood would probably improve if I started taking a little bit of bolus insulin more regularly (or at least started checking and measuring my spikes two hours after eating) because I'm spending a greater and greater part of the day slightly hungry.

I'll work towards all three of those tomorrow.

Dailies:

10:31 -> 94 Really quite a good number, although with three units the night before I had hoped for 80s. Took 2 Prandin with cereal 120c, then went to Greenwood cemetery and walked around. Around 1:00 I had a protein bar 27c.
2:15 -> 111 Not bad. Took 2 Prandin with salad 10c, eggplant 15c, hummus 25c, fries 60c, dips and tomatoes 20c at MIRIAM restaurant.
4:21 -> 80 Took 1 Prandin with carrots 21c, zucchini 14c and brussels sprouts 20c.
9:37 -> 102 Took 2 Prandin with black eyed peas w/kale 75c, beet/carrot/chick pea salad 30c, 18 crackers with avocado and sardines (yes, I broke the veganism) 60c. At 1:40 had a cookie 10c.
2:43 -> 156 This number upsets me a bit, although it's probably just a result of the 10c cookie. I only had about 2000 calories of carbs and probably no more than 2500 calories total. No wonder I'm hungry. Took 4 units of Lantus tonight, and had an apple 15c. I don't expect any nighttime lows.

Much of my evening was spent discussing the various merits of different nutritional techniques, indigenous diets, etc. Over the past three weeks I've often professed in person to being a "non-anal" vegan. There have occasionally been a bit of egg or some milk in prepared foods I've enjoyed. I've never had animal products on their own though until tonight. I had a very small amount (3 oz at most) of sardines. My veganism (or near-veganism) is for health not moral reasons and 3 oz of small cold-water fish will in no way undo the positive affects of my past 3 week diet. Regardless, tomorrow I'm back on the wagon.

Day 97

Hypothyroidism

The newest condition I've added to my collection. They came as part of a package deal. Get one, the other three are complimentary. Even though I haven't been officially diagnosed, my endocrinologist insinuated that there was little doubt when last we spoke on the phone. My TH levels were low, my thyroid was underproducing. The only thing keeping me from an official diagnosis is another set of blood tests and a $400 in person evaluation.

I have no doubt of my condition however, I've been feeling the symptoms daily for over a week. The symptoms in some ways are worse than the symptoms I experienced with diabetes... in some ways.

For over a week now my mood has been much like the weather in Hawaii. The morning starts perfectly, another day in paradise. The sun is bright, the water warm, people are outside, life is good. Then sometime around lunch usually, sometime a bit earlier, sometime a bit later, the clouds roll in consuming the whole archipelago in torrential rainfall, the sun disappears almost completely, and even though it only lasts an hour or less, and even though you know that the sun will return again, for that period in the darkness, you wonder how you've made it this far and how in hell you can possibly make it through to the other side of the storm.

And I know it's chemical. I can almost feel that it's chemical. I have no reasons to be in daily anguish. Frustrated from time to time, sure, maybe even bored, occasionally fatigued, angry at situations or peeved by circumstances, but weak and ill and despairing to the point of wanting to cry?? Nothing in my life adds up to those emotions, and yet they return almost daily, triggered by the most inconsequential of things.

I feel like a small business owner under the repressive finger of a mob run protection racket, harassed and assaulted daily, and spending the rest of the time living in fear of the next visit, haunted by the memory of the last. My will-power and body awareness serve like a broken shield and rusted armor against the attack. I'm reminded of what I long thought was the MacMillan crest, a man with broken sword fighting off his enemies (turns out the sword was only broken on our crest).

I've chosen to write from a place of happiness to be as fair as possible to my experience. Anything I write during my afflicted hour would sound more like a Sylvia Plath poem than an original of mine. But this shouldn't last. Later this week I'll have my second blood test and a week later I'll see the doctor for the inevitable results and will likely start medication that night or the following morning.

And a glorious side affect of the medication is increased energy! (or one of the symptoms it alleviates is lethargy) Which means that once I start taking thyroid hormones orally I'll also start running several times per week.

Dailies:

12:01 -> 105 Took 2 Prandin with cereal 120c (coconut yogurt is higher in carbs than soy), apple 35c, fake coffee 5c, peanuts and pumpkin seeds 6c. At 4:30 Larabar 27c. At 6:30 another 24c.
8:07 -> 71 Took 3 Prandin at 8:40 with dinner of brussel sprouts 20c, portabello mushroom 4c, celeriac 30c, cabbage 35c, quinoa 60c, yam 50c.
12:23 -> 245 Dang it! Waiting so long to eat made me super hungry although a mere 190 carbs shouldn't really be a problem for 3 pills. I decided to take 1 unit of Novolog so that i could finish the yam 50c and have a small salad 30c without going any higher. I also took 3 units of Lantus in anticipation of a weird day tomorrow. If I'm lower than 140 when next I check I'll have another mini snack. Feels good to be full, thank you bolus insulin.
2:21 -> 218 Well... still high, but going down a little. If this keeps up I may have to relearn my carb: insulin ratio. I guess I'll go to bed sans snack and trust that 3 units of Lantus will put me in the sweet spot come tomorrow early. Why early? Oh yeah... 'cause this playah is rollin' to the Hamptons tomorrow! Hollah!!! Although this idiot will rely solely on Prandin and fasting to keep my blood sugar in a good range until Tuesday night.


Day 96

Refrigerating Insulin

I ran ever so slightly high all day today. I never once dipped below 100. That, plus a fasting sugar level of >120 for the second day in a row has encouraged me to take some insulin. I'm going to take 2 units of Lantus.

Now taking 2 units of Lantus and checking for air bubbles with 2 units as directed would mean that of 250ml of insulin I'd only end up using about a fifth, and at the going rate of insulin these days that's a mighty big waste of money. So I went to the web, and did a little digging, and based on what I found I'm going to take the following course of action.

For starters I won't check for air bubbles with 2 units. I'll check with one unit at a time until an actual bead of insulin pushes through the needle. Second, I'm going to keep the insulin in the refrigerator and only take it out for long enough to inject, after which I'll return it to the frige. If at any point the insulin becomes cloudy, lumpy or changes colors I will dispose of it immediately. However, if the insulin stays clear and colorless I will continue to use it until it is empty. I'll keep you posted on the results.

Dailies:

11:12 -> 122 That's two days in a row of waking up a little high. Took 2 prandin with cereal 110c. Then over the next few hours, apple 50c, and pumpkin seeds 5c, mandarin orange 9c and bell pepper 8c.
5:04 -> 110 Took 2 Prandin with chili 80c, chips 18c, salad 30c, hummus 15c, grapefruit 25c, pb & banana 55c.
8:14 -> 145 That's a good number to start Joey. had an apple 15c and pumpkin seeds 5c at intermission.
12:50 -> 104 Took 2 Prandin with brussels sprouts 18c, okra 18c, butternut squash 60c, seaweed 6c, nutritional yeast 4c.
3:30 -> 187 Going to bed on this number, glad I decided to take 2 units of Lantus. Let's hope I sleep restfully through the night and wake up between 80-100.

Day 94

Goal: Becoming a Diabetic Leader

I want to make this operation bigger. I've been looking on Craigslist, JDSU websites, meetup.com and I can't really find the type of thing I'm looking for. I know there are bad diabetics out there. I hear about them all the time. And this pains me more than a cold injection into muscle tissue... or at least it pains me equally.

I want to find a way to get in contact with them and convince/teach them how to be better. My diabetic nurse sort of does this, but she has the restrictions of having to say certain things for legal reasons (such as change your insulin after 28 days). Certain individuals have maintained rigid glucose control since the dawn of insulin in the 1920s. Why then are people still showing up to the hospital with A1Cs in the teens, months or years after their original diagnosis?



Dailies:

9:40 -> 121 Don't get used to this time of day, I was just meeting a friend for b-fast which I ate at 11:00. Took 2 Prandin with vegan/gluten free lasagne. Not bad, but it was certainly over priced for what you got. About 80c and an apple 15c.
2:06 -> 119 Took 1 Prandin with a glorious Cameo apple 30c and my leftover swiss chard with squash 60c.
6:22 -> 71 Took 2 Prandin with lentil soup with rice 110c, grapefruit 25c, pb and banana bagel 50c, apple 30c, salad 20c, bread with hummus 20c.
9:54 -> 89 I only checked because I assumed I'd be high after 255 carbs, but this is a great number. Had a cookie 17c.
1:05 -> 65 Dang, and they tell me I'm not producing insulin. Had a salad (rocket, cucumber, tomato, avocado, onion, balsamic, soy chorizo) 45c.


Got some Vitamin D the old fashioned way today, and have a lobster red patch the size of a bear paw on my left arm.

Day 93

A Wake Up Call

Literally, five minutes before my alarm was scheduled to go off I received a phone call from my Diabetic Nurse, Linda. Her motherly voice showed no signs of resentment after I absentmindedly stood her up last week. We had scheduled an appointment two months in advance, and life caught up with me. No hard feelings though.

She wanted to check in, and since she hadn't received the news of my most recent blood work I was able to witness her organic reactions. We hadn't talked in so long that it was the first she had heard about me giving up daily insulin injections. I explained the reasons surrounding my decision, the middle of the night crashes and she supported my decision. But then I gave her the news of my new C-Peptide levels* and she, like Dr. Thys, encouraged me to be prudent in watching my sugar levels, and if they started creeping up to start back on daily injections of Lantus but at very low doses (2 units probably).

I was sure she would be thrilled to find out my A1C was 6.1%, but was mistaken. She saw this number as evidence that i was experiencing too many lows (I was) and would rather see me at about 6.5% she said. Towards the end of the conversation she cracked a joke at how obsessive I was about my control and we both had a good laugh. At least she's starting to get to know me!

I didn't tell her about my cholesterol which I mistakenly quoted as having dropped from 170-136 in my last post. It actually dropped to 126. My triglycerides were 51. Those are some healthy arteries.

When I hung up I went to check my sugar levels fully expecting to be as high or higher than the day before. After all my C Peptide is back at .53 which is super low. Surely Prandin alone can't encourage enough insulin production for somebody with my appetite... or can it?

Dailies:

11:40 -> 83 Woah! Back in the money! Took 2 Prandin with c ereal 110c, apple 15c, orange 20c, pumpkin seeds 6c. At 3:30 had bread with hummus 18c, and a clementine 9c.
4:50 -> 95 Great! Took 2 Prandin with dinner of Black Eyed Peas with kale 105c, grapefruit 25c, orange 20c, bagel with peanut butter and banana 54c, grapefruit 25c, blueberries 19c.
11:36 -> 76 Took 2 Prandin with black bean pasta 64c, indian eggplant 26c, chard and squash 15c.
1:55 -> 98 Dang! That's a day of freakin' great numbers and I never felt hungry either. Had 30c more of the squash swiss chard mix to give me a little boost for the night.

With numbers like these I don't think I'll be back on the insulin soon. But my C Peptide is low. So how is this possible? Wanna hear my theory? Sure you do.

I am (very wishfully) thinking that perhaps due to my high level of activity and my very healthy and fiberful diet maybe I just don't need as much insulin as other people. There is a range after all, from about .8 to about 3.2. If you're >3.2 then that's pre-diabetic for Type 2 meaning that you produce tons of insulin but don't use it efficiently. Isn't it possible then that somebody who's low is actually just very efficient? I mean, I didn't test above 100 once today. And I ate almost 600 carbs today with only 3mg total of Prandin. What would more insulin do to me?

Anyway, I go in for more tests in a week. But in the meantime I'm very pleased with my most recent blood work numbers.

Day 92

Blood Work: Part 4

I got my blood results today. This is the fourth time I've had blood work done. The first time was with my initial visit to the doctor. The second time only a few weeks later. The third was six weeks after that, and the fourth (most recent) was last week, three months from my initial diagnosis. There's no point in building suspense, I have to take the numbers and the results as a quarterly check in, to see how I'm doing. As always seems to be the case there was some good news and some bad news. The good news was good, the bad news... well, you'll see. (I'm recording these from memory, when I get a copy of the blood work I'll copy edit to make sure all numbers are accurate.)

GOOD NEWS:
Hemoglobin A1C: 6.1% This is amazing news. If I can maintain this number for life it is unlikely that I'll ever experience diabetic complications. Other than a freak high or low, complications are the biggest fear/concern (or should be) of all diabetics. A 6.1% A1C means that my average blood sugar level is about a 126.

Total Cholesterol: 126 Also amazing news. Cholesterol levels are a great indicator of heart and artery health. Even a level of 150, though well below the acceptable level as stated by the American Heart Association of 210, has been shown to increase your chance of heart disease. When I first got tested I was a 170, which is a good number for an American, but a bad number for a diabetic who is determined to live a long healthy life. A 126 on the other hand is amazing! I have to attribute this to my new dietary choices.

BAD NEWS:
C-Peptide: .53 This number will continue to fluctuate, a symptom of type 1.5 diabetes, and one of the biggest challenges I'll face in the next few months/years. The number indicates how much insulin my own body is producing. As this number increases so does my natural insulin production making my blood sugar more stable. As this number goes down (.5 is low) I'll be prone to higher and higher blood sugar levels. In response to this number my doctor put the responsibility of treatment in my hands. In her own words she reminded me that I knew how the Lantus and Novolog and Prandin worked, and to search for a balance with any combination I felt appropriate.

TH: Low. I forget the actual number, but this represents the hormone produced by the Thyroid. Mine is hardly producing at all. I am now the proud new recipient of hypothyroidism (more on that later). She's going to give me two weeks and then have me repeat this blood test. If the results stay the same or get worse I'll have yet another pill...to take daily...for the rest of my life.

So the good news is after a mere 3 months, the things that are in my power to control have been controlled. I've virtually disease proofed myself against a host of complications, and proved to myself that I'm smart enough, willful enough and strong enough to do that.

The bad news is that for the unforeseen future I'm shooting at a moving target when it comes to blood sugar regulation. I'll have to be flexible and alert. And the next few weeks may be rough. Hypothyroidism can cause sluggishness, fatigue, depression, etc. I fear a weekend trip to the Hamptons is only a temporary fix.

Dailies:

11:30 -> 138 That's the highest fasting level I've had since February 4th, not a great sign. Took 2 Prandin with cereal 110c. Walked several miles.
2:44 -> 123 That's better, I guess I'm still producing some insulin. Took 3 Prandin with black eyed peas 100c, apple 30c, clementine 9c, grapefruit 26c, lentils 20c. At 6:00 had bagel with pb & banana 55c
6:50 -> 117 Woah! Awesome, that right after having a bagel too! Had a piece of bread with hummus 20c. Performing as Joey. At 8:30 I had a cupcake 12c, pumpkin seeds 6c, and bread with jam 16c. At 12:00 I had a shot of tequila and a Larabar 26c.
1:54 -> 105 Great! Took 2 Prandin with salad 30c and brussel sprouts with cabbage 30c. If I'm above 150 before bed I'll take 2 units of Lantus with a little snack.
3:21 -> 104 Wow! Looks like the Prandin is still working today. I'll have an orange 20c and some blueberries 16c and go to bed.

Day 91

Black Eyed Peas (and bike ride!)

And there are many reasons why.

In anticipation of getting an early morning phone call to go shopping at the Park Slope Food Coop (best produce in the city) I went to bed early the previous night. I explored my neighborhood before 11:00 (when I usually wake up) and found the energy tangible. I also stopped to get a few more vegan flavor enhancers: miso, kombu, dried mushrooms (soon I'll add nutritional yeast to my arsenal as well!).

I got several errands done before noon, before settling down to watch a film. When 2:00 rolled around and I realized that I had been stood up by my workout partner I decided the day was too good to waste indoors and so I took my gorgeous 20 year old Trek 1000 "Sea Way" out for a spin. I started by coasting down the hill, then took a right when I hit a red. This eventually lead me to a bridge, which I crossed, and then was spit out at the hudson river, so I turned north and started pedaling stopping once to pee and drink some water but otherwise just chugging along in t-shirt and shorts with the full force of an abnormally radiant March sun carrying me along. Couples were making out on the green, old men were fishing, children were wobbling along on their scooters and everybody was happy and grateful to be outside in 70 degree weather for the first time all year. Even the cherry blossoms had begun to bloom, explosions of pink as if from a fairy that just vanished. I felt as if I was running from sun and chasing speed. It felt good to go fast, to sweat, my thighs simmering with every rotation. When I hit the 190s I called a friend who lived in the area and then stopped at his apartment. I'm converted.

He pays less for an old three bedroom apartment that was gutted and renovated to be a huge 2 bedroom apartment then I did in queens for a medium two bedroom apt. He has a corner apartment with seven windows on the fifth floor overlooking the cloisters. It's amazing! And I caught him in a 30 minute window of when he was home in the afternoon, before heading off to his birthday dinner, and then I was off again. This time homeward bound.

The ride home seemed much faster despite riding against the wind, with quickly tiring legs and into the sun (I need some sunglasses). I got home right as the sun set, a 35 mile ride in total. If I get more comfortable with that type of mileage I can start going to some pretty exciting places.

Back at home, the black eyed peas I had been soaking all day were ready to be cooked.

Black Eyed Peas

1 onion chopped
4 stalks celery chopped
2 jalepenos chopped
1 bell pepper chopped
7 cloves garlic smashed
3-4 cups soaked and strrained black eyed peas
2 cups kale leaves

Cumin, Paprika, Chili Powder, Coriander, Cinnamon, Apple Cider Vinegar, Salt to taste.

 Brown the onions, celery, jalepenos, bell pepper and garlic and then added the BEPs with water enough to cover them. Next add the cumin, paprika, chili powder, coriander, cinnamon, apple cider vinegar and salt. An hour later I added kale leafs and served. It was divine. For a hungry man I couldn't have asked for a better meal.

I served it along an arugula salad with olives, cucumbers, tomatoes, avocado, onions, sprouts and sunflower seeds, and a seaweed (kombu) salad with sesame, rice vinegar and sesame oil.

Dailies:

10:48 -> 129 A tad high for the morning. Took 3 Prandin with cereal 110, grapefruit 25c, apple 15c, yellow pepper 7c, 2 kiwis 20c.
2:17 -> 138 Had indian food with spinach 60c then went for 35 mile bike ride during which ate an apple 15c and apple sauce 30c.
6:40 -> 79 Had 2 clementines 18c, then took 3 Prandin with salad 40c, seaweed 10c, black eyed peas w/kale 100c, then orange 18c and fake coffee 4c and raw bok choy 3c.
1:42 -> 145 Still a bit hungry, I probably should have eaten more right after dinner while the Prandin was still in my body. But supposedly it has a half life of an hour, so now would be too late to eat anything substantial despite being hungry.

Tomorrow I'll have to stuff myself a bit to make sure to make up for the calories burned on the ride.

Day 90

Happy Diabetic St. Patrick's day

                                                      (now THAT'S not on a vegan diet!)

Top of the Morning to ya!!

Tis the day of all things green, in honor of the holiday I started my morning with a cup of black tea and Jameson's, some blood pudding, beans and toast, sausage, bacon, eggs, and a bowl of oatmeal cooked in Guiness. And then I woke back up to the reality of my situation. 

As each holiday passes, and granted this isn't very high on the list of major US holidays, my new lifestyle will be put to the test.  Christmas will not be about figgy pudding, Valentine's day will have to be chocolate free, and today my corned beef with cabbage will have to be just corn... with cabbage.  I'll have to relearn the 4th of July without bbq, birthdays without cake, and halloween with only tricks (and maybe some roast pumpkin!)... ok, enough moping. I actually had a great day. And food wasn't problematic at all, in fact, it's very easy, on a vegan diet, to eat green foods.  So my dinner was very festive.


Dailies:

11:14 -> 120 Took 3 Prandin with cereal 110c then pb and banana 50c, apple 15c, kiwi 10c, grapefruit 25c.
4:56 -> 92 Took 2 Prandin with lentil soup 140c, pepper 7c, cupcake 14c, apple 15c, another apple 15c, berries 5c, grapefruit 22c and pumpkin seeds 10c.
11:30 -> 83 Awesome! took 2 Prandin with dinner: salad 30c, brussel sprouts 25c, cabbage 15c and a GREEN'S beer.
3:41 -> 86 This is good! Finished earlier cabbage and had an apple 15c and celery 8c to cover for any potential dips caused by the beer.

Day 88

Fraud Alert for People with Diabetes

I received this email today from a Diabetes organization. Copied in its entirety is a message to Diabetics warning them of criminal acts of fraud targeting diabetics.  I'm sure I don't have to tell you how upset this makes me. News like this leaves me wishing for a prehistoric justice system.  Here's the warning:

"Criminals who plot to defraud the Government and steal money from the American people have a new target: people with diabetes.
Although the precise method may vary, the scheme generally involves someone pretending to be from the Government, a diabetes association, or even Medicare, calling you. The caller offers "free" diabetic supplies, such as glucose meters, diabetic test strips, or lancets. The caller may also offer other supplies such as heating pads, lift seats, foot orthotics, or joint braces, in exchange for the beneficiaries' Medicare or financial information, or confirmation of this type of personal information. Additionally, you may receive items in the mail that you did not order.

The call is a scam.

If you receive such a call, OIG recommends the following actions:

1. Protect Your Medicare and Other Personal Information

Do not provide your Medicare number or other personal information. Be suspicious of anyone who offers free items or services and then asks for your Medicare or financial information. These calls are not coming from Medicare, diabetes associations, or other similar organizations. While the caller says the items are "free," the items are still billed to Medicare. Once your Medicare information is in the hands of a dishonest person or supplier, you are susceptible to further scams. Alert others about this scheme, and remind them not to provide strangers Medicare numbers or other personal information.

2. Report the Call to Law Enforcement

Report the call to the OIG Hotline at 1-800-HHS-TIPS or online at www.OIG.HHS.gov/fraud/hotline. As part of your report, provide the name of the company that called you, the company's telephone number and address, and a summary of your conversation with the caller.

3. Check Your Medicare Summary Notice and Medicare Bills

Check your Medicare Summary Notice and other medical information to see if you were charged for items you did not order or did not receive. Also, check for items that were billed multiple times, such as glucose meters, diabetes test strips and lancets, and other supplies. Report any irregular activity to your health care provider and the OIG Hotline at 1-800-HHS-TIPS or online at www.OIG.HHS.gov/fraud/hotline.

4. Do Not Accept Items That You Did Not Order

You are under no obligation to accept items that you did not order. Instead, you should refuse the delivery and/or return to the sender. Keep a record of the sender's name and the date you returned the item(s) to help OIG catch any future illegal billing.

The Department of Health and Human Services, Office of Inspector General (OIG) fights fraud in Government programs. As part of this effort, the OIG relies upon alert citizens to help them catch those who steal from American taxpayers."

 

Dailies:

11:11 -> 87 Took 3 Prandin with cereal 110c, then apple 25c, kiwi 10c, 1/2 grapefruit 13c, apple 25c, 2 cookies 25c and a pb&j 30c at 4:00. Boy it feels good to eat after yesterday's workout!
5:05 -> 92 Took 2 Prandin with TJs salad 53c, cabbage stew 15c and then took a third Prandin with lentil soup 140c and a grapefruit 22c.
8:33 -> 175 Still pretty hungry, but not going to eat with a number this high.
11:28 -> 87 Took 2 Prandin with dinner: salad 25c, brussel sprouts with kale and jalepenos 20c, bell pepper 7c, pumpkin seeds 15c.
3:18 -> 104 Cookie 9c, kiwi 10c.

This was the greatest number of Prandin I've taken in a single day: 8 and yet the numbers didn't seem that much better or worse than usual. Perhaps I got the dosage right finally, or perhaps it's something else. I have a hypothesis brewing.

Day 87

Kettlebells

                                              (this is the reason I've been in pain the past 4 days)

The other day was a good friend's birthday. This particular friend and I happen to be training for the eventual completion of a race in the future. We had long gone without training together and had pursued physical health on our own. He's primarily a gym rat, while I prefer jogs and stair running. Reuniting after several weeks prompted us to schedule a joint workout, one that involved both cardio and strength work. Featured prominently were kettlebells, or as wikipedia describes them:


"The kettlebell or girya (Russian: ги́ря) is a cast-iron weight (resembling a cannonball with a handle) used to perform ballistic exercises that combine cardiovascular, strength and flexibility training.[1] Russian kettlebells are traditionally measured in weight by pood, which (rounded to metric units) is defined as 16 kilograms (35 lb).[2][3]


Unlike traditional dumbbells, the kettlebell's center of mass is extended beyond the hand, similar to Indian clubs or ishi sashi. This facilitates ballistic and swinging movements.[4] By their nature, typical kettlebell exercises build strength and endurance, particularly in the lower back, legs, and shoulders, and increase grip strength"

We chose 15 different exercises: kettle swings, squat presses, standing back row, push-up rows, side squats, tricep dips... to name a few, and executed one after the other for 45 seconds with 15 second rest to prepare for the next exercise. We did the entire sequence twice, and then a third time modified to only 30 seconds of exercise and only the 8 hardest exercises. My body will be sore for days!

Dailies:

10:44 -> 108 Took 2 Prandin with cereal 110c and apple 25c. Worked out with Ian and Lori and kettlebells. It was epically hard.
1:58 -> 156 Took 2 Prandin with lunch at ANGELICA restaurant and ordered the Dragon Bowl approximately 140c. At 5:00 had 2 kiwis 20c.
6:07 -> 138 Took 1 Prandin with lentil soup with rice 100c (over 2 hours), peanuts 8c. At 9:30 had a grapefruit 23c.
12:52 -> 87 Took 2 Prandin with salad 25c, strawberries 30c, bell pepper 7c, carrots 28c w/pb 6c.
3:20 -> 172 That's still within 2 hours of eating. Not too bad, but a little high.

It's going to hurt to sit tomorrow.

Day 86

What I'm Reading

I was scourging the internet for ideas tonight. Should I write about the positive affects of Vitamin D and open with a story of how glorious and sunny a day it was and how I played frisbee for 2 hours on my dinner break? Should I write about the overdone theme of going back to a simpler, less industrial, less modern time and use my recent viewing of 180 degrees south? I could just do an expose of my experience at Quest diagnostics getting blood drawn by a heavily tattooed probably 300+ pound black woman who claimed she could "smell" the diabetes on me *shudder*.

One topic invariably led to the next and an hour later, filled to capacity with new knowledge, I've decided to show you what I've been reading rather than summarize it.

Vitamin D: This stuff is important, give you a full head of hair, strong bones and possibly a whole host of other benefits.

Vegan Journalist: Tries out veganism as a stunt and likes it too much to go back.

Vegan in Andalucia: I feel like she cheated. You can't go to Andalucia to write about being vegan and spend all your time in grocery stores and your kitchen. I'm probably going to contact magazines in the future an pitch a similar idea but in more exotic locations.

Mike Tyson: Says Veganism has taken away some of the crazy.

Bill Clinton: Another recent vegan convert.

Vegan Recipes: I found the information on this site very compelling. Plus it's the closest I've gotten to food porn since turning vegan.

Vegan Bodybuilding: I'm sorry, I think after 26 years I may have finally found my calling.


Dailies:

10:59 -> 110 Took 3 Prandin with cereal 110c, pb banana 50c, apple 20c.
1:44 -> 127 Too low to start Joey, especially considering I took more medication than usual. Had a grapefruit 24c, larabar 26c during the first act, hummus and snap peas 5 c and an apple 20c during intermission.
4:53 -> 72 Took 2 Prandin with dinner: lentil soup with rice 125c, salad 35c, grapefruit 22c, apple sauce 10c, fake coffee with protein powder 10c (and not very tasty).
11:55 -> 74 Took 2 Prandin with cabbage stew 100c (cabbage, fennel, fava beans, portobello mushrooms, jalepenos, kale, sunflower seeds, sauce). Felt high an hour later but then it seemed like I started dropping. Maybe it takes longer for the medication to work at night. Either way, it looks like 7 pills per day is a more accurate dose.
2:27 -> 129 Yihaaa! I do love myself a reasonable post-meal late-night number! I'm actually going to go and finish the stew because odds are the food is digested but the pill is still working its slow magic.

Gratitudes:
1. Triple Threat Brownies.
2. Mix Tapes (or cds).
3. Roasted Dandelion Tea.
4. Beautiful, beautiful women!

Day 85

Recipe: Red Cabbage

Hey guys,

I was experimenting in the kitchen a bit and ended up totally falling in love with the outcome. I'll probably end up making this at least every other week if not more often, it's just that dang good.

Red Cabbage recipe

20oz of Butternut squash cut into 1-2 inch cubes
1/2 a head of cabbage, sliced thinly, as if making sauerkraut
16 oz of water
heaping tablespoon of miso
heaping tablespoon of tahini
heaping tablespoon of minced garlic
1/4 cup rice wine vinegar
sunflower seeds to taste

So the preparation is super simple. I started with a 3-inch deep saute pan on high medium high heat and filled it with the water. As the water started boiling I threw in the butternut squash on the bottom. I let that cook for a few minutes and then added all of the cabbage and put a lid on the pot. After about 5 minutes on medium high heat the cabbage should have reduced in size to about half. At this point you want to add the miso, tahini, garlic and vinegar, stir them all in thoroughly and reduce the heat to a simmer. This would be a good time to add water if you want the outcome to be thinner and closer to a soup, or thicker to be served as a side dish. Add the sunflower seeds, I sprinkle them pretty liberally, remove from heat and serve.
This should probably serve a bunch of people, but I've eaten an entire pot myself before. There are roughly 100 carbohydrates in this dish.

This dish is so good, I am literally sad right now typing out this blog and knowing that I've already finished all of the leftovers from the last time I made it.

And now to bed with fingers crossed that my body is working as well as possible tomorrow when I get blood work done.

Dailies x 2:

March 12, 2012
12:31 -> 113 Took 2 Prandin with cereal 110c, ran about 3 miles with 5 hill sprints, 3 of which were "Cardiac Hill."Had a grapefruit 25c and 2 kiwis 20c. At about 6:00 had an apple 20c.
7:10 -> 73 Had maybe 170c worth of Whole Foods hot bar food. At midnight had a Larabar 26c.
1:04 -> 95 Took 2 Prandin with rice 46c, beans 35c, cabbage stew 15c, salad 20c.
3:28 -> 162 Hmm... A bit high for my liking. Is this a sign that I'm creeping back up? Should I go back on the insulin?

March 13, 2012
12:20 -> 125 Not good. This is the highest fasting number I've had in awhile. Maybe it's time to go back on basal insulin. Took 2 Prandin with cereal 110c (substituted chia seeds for yogurt), rowed 2x5000m at about 2:00.00 (slow) then had apple 20c.
3:46 -> 93 Took 2 Prandin w/ salad 30c, rice 63c, lentil soup 90c = 189c. At 8:30 (intermission) had a grapefruit 25c, peanuts and snap peas 8c.
11:11 -> 55 Nice to see the Prandin still works. Could be time of day or the affects of the workout that brought me low despite a lot of carbs. Had a kiwi 10c then took 2 Prandin with 2 yams 110c, fennel 15c and carrots 10c = 145c
1:19 -> 265 Woah, what the heck? I even reckon I overestimated the yams, and a 210 point jump? And I'm still a bit hungry. I'm going to need to start taking a larger dose at night I think. I'll chug some vinegar water and see if I can't salvage a decent number for my blood work tomorrow.

Those numbers won't do. The keen reader will see that my calorie intake was a bit on the low side and yet my evening number was super high. No, that won't do. Tomorrow I'll try taking 3 Prandin with my afternoon meal, eating more, and then eating less with 2 Prandin in the evening.

Days 83 & 84

The Cure

No, my disease isn't gone. The Cure I'm referring to is a thrift shop in New York's East Village. But what sets this thrift shop apart from other thrift shops is that the proceeds benefit Type 1 Diabetes research. Here's a blurb taken from their website.

"Cure Thrift Shop's Founder, Liz Wolff, was diagnosed with type 1 (juvenile) diabetes when she was 11 years old. As a fourth generation garage sale and thrift shop scouring, dumpster diving woman, she has combined her passion for arts and antiques with her personal mission: to dedicate her life to finding a cure for diabetes."

Pretty cool, eh? And what's better still is that diabetics get 15% off Monday-Wednesday. So tomorrow, between cooking vegan food, doing yoga or rowing you'll be able to find me at The Cure!

Dailies:

12:09 -> 89 Took 2 Prandin with cereal 110c, bagel w/pb and banana 57c, fake coffee 4c.
4:21 -> 143 But I swear I feel lower. Oh well, had some peanuts 5c.
5:46 -> 109 Took a Prandin with a yam 55c then larabar 26c. At 8:00 took another Prandin with a Columbian Sandwich in a piece of corn flatbread. I estimated it to be about 75c.
10:44 -> 177 Took 2 Prandin with brussel sprouts 20c, salad 30c, cabbage stew 33c, rice 46c, chickpeas 19c, fake coffee 7c.
2:56 -> 177 Going to bed.

I was a bit high all day, but I was very inactive. Tomorrow I'll move my body a bit more and hopefully bring the average of those numbers back down a little.

Day 82

Rollercoaster

Today was lame.

My blood glucose level can be so temperamental. My first 2 Prandin took care of 180 carbs and then some. My second 2 Prandin knocked out 260 carbs easily and left me low. But the final 2 Prandin couldn't work their way through 196 carbs without giving me a major spike. Hence, lame.

Dailies:

11:20 -> 108 Took 2 Prandin with cereal 110c then an amazing farmer's market cameo apple 25c, snap peas with peanuts 5c. At intermission a small pb&j 18c and a fuji apple 22c.
4:54 -> 88 Took 2 Prandin with dinner: cabbage and squash 50c, lentils 35c, quinoa 60c, salad 15c and hummus 15c, also second cameo apple 28c. Before the show at 8:00 I had a cookie 10c.
10:13 -> 47 I was feeling low during act 2 so I checked my blood glucose before going on stage for the epic marathon that is the final few scenes of WarHorse as Joey. My blood sugar was 47. I had a Gu packet 25c and barely remember the next 20 minutes. At 11:20 I was beginning to feel low again and so I had a Larabar 26c.
12:02 -> 60 Had an Amy's frozen Gluten Free Vegan pizza 102c (I was tired from a long day of shows and lows, so I realize this isn't the healthiest option) and to avoid any further lows also had some curried chickpeas 54c with what I originally thought was 40c worth of quinoa. Turns out it was 60c. So I overshot by 20c.
3:04 -> 242 Looks like I paid for those extra twenty carbs. Without them I'd probably be in shooting range of 180 which would have been happier. Oh well, I don't mind a bit of hyper after so much hypo.

I really do think that without that mistake of counting the carbs I would have been in a pretty good range so there aren't any real lessons to be learned here. I am going to make a note of the fact that my afternoon Prandin seemed so much more effective than my morning and evening doses. I'll see if that's consistent and adjust accordingly.

Why do I have a feeling despite the ups and downs I'll wake up tomorrow between 80-120?

Gratitudes:
1. Daylight savings means more sun starting tomorrow.
2. I didn't pass out during "Joey's Night."
3. The most delicious apples I've had in a long, long time.

Day 81

Becoming Vegan

If you read my blog diligently and have a savant like brain for picking up on details and patterns then this may come as no surprise to you. Last week I decided to cut meat and dairy out from my diet. I read some compelling literature on the subject after which I decided I owed it to myself to give it a try and see how it affected my body.

I waited a week to announce this new dietary plan publicly because I wanted to give my body a chance to adapt and I also wanted to see for myself if it was something I could do. Both of those stories now have an ending. Just a few days after cutting out meat and dairy from my diet I had enough daily lows to cut out insulin injections completely. I've posted thrice on the subject but it still boggles my mind. I am NOT taking any insulin and haven't for four days now. As for the question of my ability to be vegan I've found it easier than I thought.

If you are the type of person who becomes anxious or worried at this news can I ask you to focus your energies on researching the subject before expressing your concerns to me. I am a person who has done quite a bit of research over the years on nutrition, who takes care of himself, who knows how to cook, and who REALLY likes food. I am no bird-like girl turning vegan to lose weight. I'm becoming vegan so that my body becomes ultimately efficient, so that I reach my maximum physical potential. I want to get bigger and stronger, but I want to do that while eating loads of beans and legumes, leafy greens, vegetables, fruit and hearty whole grains and all metabolized by my own insulin! If you think I'm at risk of being nutrient deficient in one capacity or another check out the short hand of what I eat (included at the bottom of every post) and see if it's missing. If it is, feel free to inquire and I'll do my best to explain how/where I get this or that nutrient. And if it turns out that I AM deficient, I'll happily make adjustments to correct it.

Dailies:

11:40 -> 113 Took 2 Prandin with Cereal 110c, 2 apples 30c, 2 oranges 17c, a larabar 24c and a bit of chocolate 5c.
5:32 -> 70 Took 2 Prandin with dinner from the Whole Foods hot bar: mung beans, kidney beans, chickpeas, kale, spinach, seaweed salad, cabbage salad, wild rice, okra, approximately 110c, apple 25c, snap peas and pb 6c, cookie 10c, toast 10c, hummus 5c.
9:21 -> 103 I checked here because I really guessed the carbs of my dinner and didn't want to find myself low while on stage. 103's alright, but since the pills work slowly I played it safe and had another Larabar (my go to for raising my glucose) 31c.
11:26 -> 61 Good thing I had the Larabar. Took 2 Prandin with black beans 67c, quinoa 40c, chorizo 13c, kale 4c, apples 30c, orange 9c, shot of fernet branca.
2:56 -> 111 I'm tempted to go to bed, but really I'd feel safer if this number were a little higher. Had some AMAZING cabbage and squash 15c, I'll post the recipe later, and apple sauce 10c.

Gratitudes:
1. Free tickets to the Moma.
2. Gluten free and vegan foods that still feel "naughty".
3. Fellowship with a friend on their B-day.

Day 80

Insulin Free

Since this is my second day without insulin I figured I should let my doctor know. I called the office. She was on vacation. So I texted.


(Actual transcription of my text messages with my doctor.)

Me: "Hey Dr. Thys. I started waking up real low and even having midnight lows and so I stopped taking Lantus 2 days ago. Numbers have been pretty good. Is that okay?"

Her: "Yes"

Communication made easier by technology. I am very very excited at how good the numbers have been. And I figured something else out today. I take usually 6 pills per day. A pill takes care of roughly 100 carbohydrates. A carbohydrate provides 4 calories of energy. Therefore any day that I take 6 pills will be a day that I consume 6x100x4 = 2400 calories worth of carbohydrates. Protein probably makes up at least 10% of my diet or around 60 grams or 240 calories, and I imagine I have at least 30 grams of fat or 270 calories. Combined that is a minimum of 2910 calories per day, a pretty good amount for somebody my size. Although with all the workouts maybe I'll start taking 7 pills and eat an extra 400 calories around lunch. And now for further proof of my insulin-free success!

Dailies:

11:20 -> 93 Perfect morning number! Took 2 Prandin with cereal 110c then at 1:00 had 2 apples 30c an orange 11c and peanuts 8c.
5:31 -> 83 Something obviously working! Took 2 Prandin with dinner of lentil soup with quinoa 115c and salad with hummus and avocado 45c. Also had fake coffee 4c, apple 15c and orange 9c.
10:55 -> 52 Low alert! Apple 15c. Waited a few minutes and then had a yam 75c with 1 Prandin, an orange 9c and a Larabar 24c.
2:42 -> 69 Too low for bed. Had a carrot 11c, 4 celery w/pb 4c and brussels sprouts 20c, and a half cup of apple sauce 20c. Going to bed!

Gratitudes:
1. Got my personal days approved in May.
2. The temperature went over 60 degrees today.
3. A productive physical therapy session.

Day 79

No Insulin Experiment

"This is my quest, to follow that star, no matter how hopeless, no matter how far."
~ Don Quixote in Man of La Mancha

The results are in and I am pleased to say that I survived my first synthetic insulin free day since December 19, 2011. Does anybody else find this as insanely awesome as I do? What a freakin' journey. I went to the doctor with all the classic symptoms of diabetes. I had an A1C of 13, a blood sugar level of 569, a C Peptide level of .55. In common English that translates to "YOU HAVE DIABETES DUDE!" This to me was an unbeatable disease, that's what everybody said. But in those early days I forgot a very powerful truth.

Unbeatable is not the same as unfightable.

I am very very lucky right now. My doctor has said it before and I've realized it many times since. I'm lucky. I've reversed every number that I just listed. My A1C continues to drop, and if I continue on my current trajectory I hope to get back an A1C under 7 when I get blood work done next week. My blood glucose was 67 last I checked and my C Peptide is 1.65, back in the healthy range.

Now, just because I've stopped taking insulin doesn't mean my Diabetes is in remission or anything like that. I'm still on 6 pills a day. I suffer lows an highs on a daily basis. But remember this:

A diagnosis is not a death sentence.

There are two ways to deal with being diagnosed with any type of Diabetes. You can bend over and allow Western medicine and western doctors to make a statistic out of you, or you can do everything in your power to maintain as close to normal health as possible. Make changes. Be an outlier. And keep up the good fight!

Dailies:

10:43 -> 89 This is my first fasting sugar level after not taking basal insulin. Took 2 Prandin with cereal 110c. At 1:30 had strawberries 30c. At 2:00 had 2 mandarin oranges 17c. At 3:30 had blueberries and nuts 10c. At 4:30 had an apple 25c in anticipation of a workout. Ran with sprints, about 4 miles.
5:30 -> 75 Took 2 Prandin with dinner: lentil soup with rice 100c and salad 30c and 2 mandarin oranges 17c. At 8 had strawberries 30 and fake coffee 4c. At 9:30 had an apple 15c, a cookie 10c and my last orange 9c.
12:31 -> 67 Took 2 Prandin with supper: red cabbage and squash 100c (that's a LOT of cabbage) and beans 57c and quinoa 30c.
3:26 -> 182 I'm not unhappy with this number. A little high, sure, but not so high, and since it's three hours since my last pills I'd guess this number is heading down. Will be interesting to see my morning number on what will be Day 2 of the experiment!

Gratitudes:
1. I held my blood sugar under 200 on my first day off insulin.
2. I felt compelled to periodically sprint during my run today.
3. The sun was out and the sky was clear. Spring is almost here.

Doc told me last time I saw her that she wanted my body to "cool down" which was the reason for ditching the Gluten and for ramping up the vitamins. Well, I'd say my body's pretty cool right now.

Day 78

No Insulin Today

Okay, I've been keeping a close eye on myself the past week and am finding that I am trending lower and lower. The Prandin usually works pretty slowly on me which isn't such a problem during the day because I snack quite a bit. But at night, I've been taking it with meals two hours before going to bed. My sugar before going to bed is usually high, but then I've been waking up on the low side. My recent mid-sleep hypoglycemic spell pushed me over the edge. I haven't even been very rigorously active recently. I haven't ran or rowed in several days and still my blood sugar seems a bit on the low side all the time.

I no longer feel comfortable going to sleep with both insulin and Prandin working their slow black magic in the night. I also don't feel comfortable performing as the horse in the show for fear that I'll drop mid-show. Today was one such day. I was performing Topthorn, had a few mandarin oranges before beginning, then a piece of toast mid Act 1, then some more goodies at intermission. But then mid Act 2 I felt myself dropping. I quickly had two cookies and when next I checked my sugar nearly an hour later I was at 71.

I refuse to continue this way. I called my doctor today but was told she's on vacation. So, I'm going to use a bit of my own common sense and try a day without insulin. I was going to just lower my dosage from 5 to 3 or something, but that hardly seemed like enough. And to take only 2 or 1 units of basal seems like stabbing myself for nothing.

So to repeat myself: I am not going to take any basal insulin tonight and will see how that affects me tomorrow. If it's a disaster - which I doubt - I'll go right back tomorrow. But with two shows tomorrow, one of which is Joey, and with the promise of 60 degree weather, which my running shoes finds irresistible, I can't imagine my blood sugar being too high. We shall see.

Dailies:

11:42 -> 62 This is a very low morning number, especially considering I had 45 carbs right before going to bed. This is why I'm not taking Lantus tonight. Took 2 Prandin with cereal 110c. Around 1:30 I had a small apple 15c and then a big apple 28c. Walked the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens
3:48 -> 82 Took 2 Prandin with 3 cups lentil soup 90c with kale 6c and rice 35c. At 6:00 had 3 mandarin oranges 26c, nuts 2c and peas w/hummus 10c. At 7:20 had pb toast 14c. At 8:30 finished the snap peas 6c. At 9:15 felt low and had 2 cookies 21c.
11:14 -> 71 Had a salad 30c, then took 2 Prandin with bok choy (szechuan, ginger, lime, coconut oil) 18c, quinoa 24c and adzuki beans cooked in coconut milk with ginger 62c. Fake coffee 8c.
2:45 -> 147 Let the experiment begin!

Gratitudes:
1. Eric's coat.
2. Subway naps - really, they're the best.
3. The Brooklyn Botanical Garden

Day 77

Hypoglycemia Alert!

I was there on the streets of New York, walking briskly, everything looked gray. I think I was somewhere near Chinatown, although I do sorta remember passing a church that I thought was further north. My sister was walking with me and trying to explain to me about a revelation of sorts she had had. She was beginning to practice honing in on skills she had, interpersonal skills, or perhaps better explained as psychic skills. She would walk down the street without gloves and try to touch the skin of passerbys and see if she could absorb some element of them, pick up on their state or something like that.

Whatever it was I'm not entirely sure because I couldn't stop thinking about how dang slow she was walking. Here I was trying to get somewhere in a hurry and she was dawdling, always dawdling. I think I grabbed her hand at some point and walked faster, but it was as if we couldn't even get to the corner. No matter how fast I tried to walk we didn't get any closer to our destination. I was panicking and I could feel myself sweating, I looked down at my hands and couldn't even see them. I turned around and my sister had vanished, in fact, New York had vanished and was replaced with darkness. Darkness and warmth and sweat and panic.

I threw my covers off and sat up in bed. My pulse was racing. Just a bad dream? I put two fingers to my neck and tried controlling my breathing. It did nothing. I found my glucometer. Pricked my finger, squeezed out a bead of blood, watched as the strip sucked it into the computer and waited five seconds...

It wasn't the lowest I've ever had, but it was certainly the lowest I've ever had in the middle of the night. In fact, this was the first time I've had to wake up in the middle of the night to check my blood sugar. That in itself is a pretty frightening thought. I ran to the fridge trying to think of something to eat and then reassessed and decided to go with quick sugar and had a whole juice box 24c. Thirty minutes later I had raised 43 points to the safe level of 93. I had a mandarin orange 9c and went back to sleep.

Here's why this is peculiar/frustrating/confusing news. I took my last pills of the night at about 7:30pm. Five and a half hours later when I went to bed, my blood sugar was 208. And yet, three and a half hours later I had dropped to 50? What gives? What was still working? I had eaten a massive 230 carbs with two pills. It's hard to imagine that the Prandin was still persuading my pancreas to work overtime. What then? Was it the 5 units of nightly Lantus I've been taking every single night since mid-December?

More importantly what am I going to do about it? Well, for starters tonight I'm going to compensate for any possible late night lows by eating the equivalent of a juice box and mandarin orange right before bed, 33 carbs, you don't have to ask me twice. Then I'm going to check my morning number. If it's pretty low again I'm going to call my Dr. and ask her recommendation and see if I can't decrease my insulin dose.

Dailies:

4:47 am -> 50 Had a juice box 24c.
5:15 -> 93 Much better. Had a mandarin orange 9c.
(morning)
11:03 -> 86 Took 2 Prandin with V cereal 110c. At 1:24 had an apple 20c. At 2:30 had 3 oranges 27c. At 3:30 had 1/2 a VG donut 24c.
5:08 -> 111 Took 2 Prandin with SOUEN RESTAURANT bowl of white sesame ramen 55c and corn bread 45c (which I was possibly misinformed about its gluten content). At 8:00 I had snap peas 6c and 2 oranges 17c.
11:39 -> 69 Took 2 Prandin with salad 20c, fake coffee 6c, 1 cup wild rice 35c, 2 cups lentil soup 60c = 120c. Took 5 units of Lantus.
2:12 -> 131 Not a bad number, however, to avoid a nighttime low I'm going to have another cup of soup 30c with 1/4 cup rice, 9c = 39c. And Bedtime.

Gratitudes:
1. Katy Pfaffl's voice.
2. The existence of an amazingly delicious Gluten Free Ramen restaurant in New York City.
3. Benedict Cumberbatch and the BBC series Sherlock.

Day 76

China Study Review: Part 2

The China Study is nothing if not a vegan manifesto. The list of evidence is compelling. The science is sound. A whole foods plant based diet is the best way to prevent a whole host of diseases including cancers, coronary heart disease, diabetes, osteoporosis, Alhzeimer's disease, etc.

Don't compare what you read in The China Study to what you hear on the news. The China Study is the primary source. This is the book written by the project manager of the biggest most comprehensive study on nutrition ever conducted. A $5 million dollar study examining the dietary traditions of villages across China over decades and the correlation to disease.

Really and truly, the author repeatedly throws some light on fad diets, science of convenience, and agenda based policy and reveals them all for what they are. I've obviously been influenced. If you can find this book in a library, check it out, it is shocking.






And with that I move onto my next book: A Fighter's Heart

Dailies:

11:33 -> 71 Noticing a trend? This is the fifth day in a row I've woken up under 100. Took 2 Prandin with V cereal 110c. At 12:45 had a banana 27c. At 1:30 had two apples 40c.
2:49 -> 86 Pre Joey number. Not high enough. Had a pb sandwich 25c. Did 1st act then had a Larabar 26c. That's a total carb count of 216c for 2 pills.
7:22 -> 74 Wow, impressive how low that is. Took 2 Prandin with beans 67c, chorizo 13c, quinoa 30c, brussels sprouts 20c, chips 20c, blueberries 20c, yam 60c, squash w/ tahini 4c. 234c for 2 pills.
10:03 -> 244 Dang it, I let my appetite get the best of me. If 216 carbs over 8 hours kept me stable with two pills, what made me think that 234 carbs would balance out 2 pills in one sitting. I'm an idiot.
1:00 -> 208 At least I'm heading down (I hope I didn't peak higher between these two numbers, though I probably did). It will be very curious to see what number I wake up at.

Gratitudes:
1. Medical insurance sent me a check, paltry but helpful.
2. My sis arrived in town.
3. Despite some shoulder irritation I completed a very enjoyable performance of Joey.

Day 75

Identity Crisis - Part 2

Not Knowing Who I Am...

What kind of Diabetic am I?

I was lost in a book today - as I'm prone to be found these days - about health and nutrition in America and the causes of Western Diseases aka Diseases of Affluence (Coronary Heart Disease, Cancer, Diabetes) and I came across a statistic that I've seen many times in the last few months: between 85-90% of diabetics are type 2, the other 10-15% are type 1. Okay, simple enough, I'm diabetic so I must be type...

What are my choices again?

Type 1: Insulin dependent. Diagnosis depends on symptoms and a one time random blood glucose reading that is high. Well, I had symptoms polyurea (peeing), polydipsia (thirst), weight loss, etc. AND when I went in for blood work my blood glucose was 569. My A1C (average blood sugar level) was in the 13s and my C-Peptite was .5. Simple enough, I'm Type 1.

But wait a second. After switching to a gluten free diet and starting a vitamin supplementation program I've gone from 30 units of insulin per day down to 5. My C Peptide has popped back up to 1.6 and now I only need .5-1 mg of Prandin per meal to maintain glucose control. Prandin doesn't work on Type 1 Diabetics so I must be Type 2...

But wait a second. Type 2s usually are accompanied by weight gain, show gradual increases in blood sugar (not 569) and have abnormally high C Peptide numbers because they're insulin resistant. In other words they produce a lot of insulin but their body doesn't use it well. That's not me either, If I inject one unit of insulin it's going to eat up everything in my body and make me crash - hard.

So what type am I? Type 1.5? Come on, now I feel like you're just making it up. Try telling your friends, or even your doctor for that matter, that your a type 1.5 diabetic. They won't know what you're talking about. And what am I supposed to get on this medical bracelet that supposedly I should wear forever... type 1.5? People who find me passed out will think I'm part of a hidden camera show. I feel like "type 1.5" is a name they gave to diabetic anomalies to keep them from asking difficult questions. As if by giving it a name it's totally under control. "Oh that? That's just type 1.5 diabetes... nothing weird there!" Insert salesman smile as they hand you the bill for the "diagnosis."

And what's worse?

There is basically NO information about Type 1.5. Take this quote for example from Diabetes Forecast magazine: "As of now, there is still a lot of uncertainty over how exactly to define LADA (Type 1.5), how it develops, and how important it is for patients to know if they have it."

How important it is for patients to know if they have it? What the hell is that supposed to mean?

From everything I've read I feel like there's a window of opportunity here. That Type 1.5 is some sort of pre-Type 1. It's the first sign of an inevitable progression to being fully insulin dependent. It's like one of those narrow escape scenes from the movies. There's a door in the distance that is slowly closing. Most doctors say, "nah, forget it, just stay in here, once the doors are closed you'll get used to it quickly, you'll adapt, it's better that way." And there I am I'm sprinting towards the door, but I don't know what to do if I get there. Do I run through? Can I run through? Can I prop the door open? How? IS THERE ANYTHING I CAN DO??


Dailies:

11:11 -> 81 Took 2 Prandin w/ v cereal 110c. At 1:30 had vitamins and apple 20c. Banana 27c at 3:30. Total 157c
4:56 -> 78 Took 3 Prandin w/kidney beans and quinoa 83c, yam 75c, salad 30c, grapefruit 30c and fake coffee 5c. Total 223c.
10:40 -> 56 Felt low. Had a Larabar 26c.
11:55 -> 59 Geez! No bueno! Had quinoa 60c, peas 17c, indian eggplant 26c = 103c with 1 Prandin. Took 5 units of Lantus.
2:50 -> 132 Lower than I expected, and lower than I feel comfortable going to sleep. Had celery with peanut butter 15c and blueberries 20c.

Gratitudes:
1. A beautiful sunset.
2. The energy and desire to workout on the river at sunset.
3. Unsweetened Baker's chocolate.

Day 74

Identity Crisis - Part 1

Not Knowing Where I Come From...

Where does my diabetes come from?

"The Stork brings it" ~Mom
"When two people really love each other..." ~Dad
"Happy Meals" ~ Ronald McDonald
"Bad Luck" ~clueless people
"Genetics" ~some books
"America!" ~Stephen Colbert
"There's an inciting incident" ~Doc Thys
"Muhahahahaha!!!" ~Mr. G. Reaper

I find myself scampering through books for answers, driving back into my memory for clues, but it's like the picture above. No matter how closely I look at the picture, what's at the beginning of the tracks remains, and will forever remain a mystery. Searching for answers brings too many. Genetics likely plays some role in the development of diabetes. But then my doctor took me off Gluten and my condition improved, so maybe it's a gluten intolerance. Now I'm reading a book that provides evidence of a link between childhood dairy consumption and several autoimmune diseases, which seems to pretty accurately describe me.

It's like the Nature v. Nurture question of disease. Am I fully absolved of any responsibility or guilt for my condition and just pulled an unlucky straw, or have I spent the last 26 years making decision after bad decision that slowly polluted my body to the point of it attacking itself? Both have supporters with medical degrees, both present compelling arguments, both can throw a pile of statistics in the air with great vigor. But none of that gets me closer to the why, when or how of the matter.

I see myself walking along in the dark, whistling a tune, with a swagger to my step and all of the sudden the lights turn on and I realize I'm walking a wire no wider than a pencil. To either side of me is a steep plunge to a certain death. I look back to see where I took a wrong turn, where the signs were "narrow path ahead", or evidence of the road gradually narrowing, but behind me is only darkness. And now for the rest of my life the swagger is gone, my tread has to be light and calculated, gentle and patient, careful and intentional. And with every step I take, the darkness behind me is more and more impenetrable. I am closer right now to being able to find an incident or explanation in my past that triggered this whole series of events as I ever will be. And I can tell you next to nothing.

Where does my diabetes come from? This question will haunt me until the day I die.

Dailies:

11:09 -> 61 That's the lowest morning I've ever had. I blame the one beer last night, I guess I'll err even higher next time I enjoy my weekly beer. Took 2 Prandin with cereal 105c. Then at 1:00 had an apple 20c. At 2:30 had pb toast 14c.
5:15 -> 87 Hungry! 2 Prandin with lentil souup 56c, salad with beans and broccoli 30c, apple 20c and fake coffee (no cream) 5c = 111c.
9:20 -> 90 Tested because i was hungry. Had 2/3 grapefruit 20c.
12:25 -> 62 Woah! I was feeling low symptoms. Had an apple, waited, took 2 Prandin, waited, had dinner: b sprouts 20c, salad 30c, quinoa 48c, kidney beans 35c = 133c. Took 5 units of Lantus. Seeing as it's night (Lantus worn off), and I had more carbs than usual per pill, I'm expecting a high bedtime number. However, that was slightly intentional since I've had five 60s in the past three days.
3:13 -> 158 Perfect number. I feel comfortable going to bed.


Gratitudes:
1. Grateful for a seat on the subway in both directions.
2. Grateful I wasn't being scrutinized during rehearsal.
3. Grateful for my loving relationship with peanut butter.

Day 73

Habit Linking

Habit Linking - I googled this term and found nothing so I'm going to claim this as a GI Jon original. To best explain how I came up with this practice and this term I have to take you back to 2010.

In the summer of 2010 I had been touring the world for three years as a puppeteer in the show Walking with Dinosaurs. I had long since put aside my rigorous physical habits of the past in order to better absorb all aspects of the local cultures I was visiting. In other words, I hardly thought it a productive use of my time to be stretching and strengthening my body when I could spend the same time visiting an ancient temple or observing a tea ceremony.

I'm a pretty tough guy and pride myself on being able to power through most things, but after getting a particularly painful massage in Japan the masseuse told me that the root of most of my physical ailments was a lack of flexibility. I heard what she said, but it wasn't enough to get me to change my habits. It wasn't until a week later at a gym in Nagoya where I went to train with my co-workers that I realized I had the tightest hamstrings of all of them. Tell me I have tight hamstrings and I'll probably give you a chuckle. Tell me I have tighter hamstrings than somebody else and you've made it a competition. Now I felt motivated. But stretching is something that needs to be done daily, multiple times daily if you really want to improve. How would I ever remember to make this lifestyle adjustment especially when my life was so exciting and random all the time? I pondered this question for awhile and finally a light bulb went off.

Think of your typical week, for a moment, if such a thing even exists for you. Are there any things you do, every day? Well, you probably sleep every day, and eat every day, and more than likely use the restroom every day. But those are all things that your body tells you to do. There's no discipline in going to sleep or in deciding to eat, or relieving yourself, that's automatic. Okay, are there any things you do every day that you don't HAVE to do? There are dozens and they're different for different people - making your bed, brushing your teeth, journaling, reading the newspaper, who knows. The one I chose was brushing your teeth, and here's why.

I brush my teeth twice a day, every day, 365 days a year. It takes about 3 minutes when you include flossing. It only engages my hands and my mouth.

My goal was increased flexibility in my legs, specifically my hamstrings, adductors and my IT Band. That's three stretches on two legs - 6 stretches at 30 seconds each is 3 minutes. It was a perfect fit.

Now the first two weeks are crucial, you HAVE to remember to link the habits EVERY day. Every time I brushed my teeth I made sure to stretch, even if I was short on time and rushing a little, I made sure to go through the motions. The most important thing in the first two weeks is not to get more flexible but to train your body to associate the act of brushing your teeth with the act of stretching, linking a very new activity to a very well engrained habit. After two weeks the new habit is pretty well engrained and the pudding came a few months later. I had changed hotel rooms a half dozen times, switched countries thrice and was in a new timezone, and practically a new hemisphere, and I had just gotten back from an all night rave on the beach! I went into my room to brush my teeth before work, and it was all I could do not to pass out right there. But as I was brushing something felt weird. I felt anxious. Was it because this was my last week on tour? No.. that wasn't it. Maybe it was the day I had in front of me, two baby ts? Nah, that wasn't it either. While I tried to figure out why I felt so weird, I casually threw my leg up on the sink and leaned forward over it, I felt the burn of my muscle fibers stretching... and the anxiety went away.

Need a visual example? Watch this clip from The Office.

Workout today: 7x1000 meters at 1:48 with 6x500 meters at about 2:50 (rest).

1. I'm grateful for Thursday night bowling.
2. I'm grateful that I can afford to own a super awesome Concept 2 Model D ergometer.
3. I'm grateful that I live in an age where lots of information on health and nutrition is available for those with courage and a library card.

Dailies:

11:27 -> 88 Took 2 Prandin w/cereal 110c (walked to yoga, but it was cancelled) Did my rowing workout. At 2:30 had celery with tahini 15c.
4:00 -> 68 Nice! I love the slow downward creep post workout! Took 2 Prandin with a big yam 65c, broccoli w/homemade pesto 40c and a small cup of lentils & quinoa 40c.
7:45 -> 118 While this number is fine normally I want a higher Pre-Joey number. Had apple 20c and peanuts 5c. At intermission 9:30 I had 1/3 grapefruit 10c and peanuts 5c. After the show at 11:00 I had my pre-bowling beer. Took 5 units of Lantus at 1:00am.
2:23 -> 69 Happy with this number. Had a salad 30c with no medication and I'm going to bed now.

Day 72