Less Insulin

At what point am I supposed to stop making a big deal out of this? Everything, even eventful things have a time limit attached to them. You got a new job - great, for a week. Just had a baby? I'll look at cute pictures for a month. Joining the Peace Corp and traveling through Colombia? I'll facebook stalk you for a year. But all of these things, at a certain point, seem redundant. Bring them up too often in conversation and you become a bore.

I went to dinner tonight with Cat and friends. There were extenuating circumstances, we started a half hour late and I was supposed to be back by 7:00 for fight call - but during the dinner I think there was nothing that I contributed. I sat in my little corner, checking the clock and madly scribbling down pencil scratch from my little ledger. Bemoaning the substitution of fresh carrots and celery for homemade buttermilk biscuits with strawberry jam and cornbread stuffing, when the food finally did arrive everybody digs in while I rummage through my man purse for a needle and pen, inject myself and then eat like a dog, carbs first then protein. I'm going to start losing friends.

Although...

I may start making friends too. Now that I think about it, now that I've shaken the experience of tonight's dinner I'm reminded of some other events. Like how I was accosted at work today by one of the single female company members who said she had made a special detour on her way to work today to pop into a famous cupcake shop and inquire as to their gluten free selection. Then there was the woman who took me to her favorite gluten free grocery store. And now (prompted by an email initiated by me) another woman who has previously expressed interest in me will likely respond flirtatiously with the promise of a gluten free date. That last event is pure conjecture.

In the words of a diabetic alter ego to Katy Perry: "you're high then you're low, hyper then hypo, stick your finger and shout, inject pull it out." Which I take to mean, this disease will change me. And more than that, it will change how my friends perceive me. Already there are positive reactions: awe - at how I've rebounded, admiration - at my positivity, compassion - especially from certain maternal types. But then there are negative reactions as well: distance - because I'm not "normal" anymore, pity - because I'm always "left out" when it comes to certain food based social activities.

For the numerically inclined:

11:54 -> 148 Look at that! The number snuck down a little in the night. Well, because I only had 7 units of Lantus last night I'll try adjusting the carb to insulin ratio to about 50:1. Had cereal 125c, pb&j 35c = 160 carbs with 3 units of Novolog.
1:54 -> 99 Had a small apple 20c with OsCal (calcium), B12, B50, D and green tea.
3:30 -> Small handful of almonds and a protein shake.
5:28 -> 105 Had raw celery and carrots 18c, salad 6c, roast veg 30c, mashed potatoes 40c, a banana 27c = 117c with 2 units of Novolog. In anticipation of doing Joey I also had a 1/2 grapefruit 16c.
8:53 -> 153 At intermission I had green tea and some peanuts.
1:20 -> 93 I'm still creeping down when I'm not eating, a sign that my basal is still a bit high. Took 5 units of Lantus. Dinner was swiss chard stir fried with turkey, spinach and garlic in a szechuan sauce 10c, corn 32c, and two pieces of lightly jammed toast 30c = 72c and 1 unit of Novolog.
3:20 -> 164 Went up 70 points, which serves me right for having 12c more than I should have based on the ratio that I had established. Tomorrow I'll try to stick exactly to 60:1 all day. But I may run high, because I'm on the smallest dose of basal insulin I've been on since I started taking it. In anticipation of high numbers maybe I'll go to 50:1.

Total Insulin: 13
Total Carbs: 375

So, another day another adventure. No pharmacy nonsense, no early morning doctors, no insurance claims, just a long hard day at work and a well managed day of blood glucose levels. Oh, here's an amateur diabetic anecdote:

The other day after injecting I was trying to unscrew the needle from the pen and back into it's protective plastic case. I was doing this in the dark. I thought the sharp was in the case and so I reached for the pen cap and went to cover it. The needle, however, was not back in its case. And with my nearly constantly trembling fingers I missed putting the pen in the cap and instead pierced my finger with the 8 mm needle. A geyser of blood erupted and I laughed at my own clumsiness. On another occasion I stabbed myself into the folds of my stomach fat with my injection pen before I set the dose forcing me to have to take it out, set the dose, and pierce my stomach fat again.

Diabetes and nonchalance go together like hair spray and fire. These were small mistakes but I pray the lessons sunk in. If this type of absent mindedness had afflicted a different step in my daily diabetes routine I may have injected the wrong type of insulin, or the wrong amount. Kaboom!

Day 26.